Third Time, No Lies
by FindingSide
Summary: Spencer could keep denying to everyone that the almost kiss meant nothing but she knew it would soon mean everything. / slight cannon, slight AU.. give it a chance. Review and let me know if it's worth continuing. O.o. I do not own anything PLL sadly.
1. Chapter 1

The SUV came to a slow stop in the driveway. At this point Spencer could drive there blindfolded. "Em, just trust me." Emily leaned over the center console to peck her friends cheek while Spencer was still in mid sentence. Spencers head turned slightly and the friendly kiss landed half on her lips. Emily opened the door and was half way out of the car before turning back to her best friend. "I.. I know what I saw Spence. Mona was in the coffee shop tonight. I saw her and five minutes later some random stranger hands me a 'lost' $20 with an A on it. I don't know how but she is getting out of Radley again " Spencer was half listening to Emily, they occasionally hugged hi and bye but there was really never a kiss on the cheek to go along with it. "Spencer! Are you listening to me at all? " Emily huffed and moved fully out of the SUV. Spencer snapped her head back around to look at Em, clearing her throat and blinking a few times. "Yes I'm listening. Call down. I said I'd talk to him tomorrow but I still don't see how she could be doing that again. I'll call you in the morning and let you know what Wren says, okay ?"

Emily nodded and closed the door then turned to walk towards her house, Spencer's window rolled down and she heard Spencer call her name. "Em.. just.. call me if you need me, okay? " A smile crept up on Emily's face and nodded again. "I'll be fine, just cal me in the morning." With that she moves quickly towards her door and went inside, still smiling and feeling somewhat happy, nervous and confused all at the same time. Spencer pulled away from the house intending to go home but found herself sitting outside Arias house. Pulling out her phone she sent a quick text asking Aria if she was still awake and if so could she come in.

"Aria.. are you awake? "  
"Yeah , what's up ?"  
"Can I come in ?"  
"Door should be unlocked , come up "

It seemed like maybe five seconds had passed before Spencer walked into Arias room and closed the door behind her. When Aria looked up Spencer was standing there like a deer in headlights. "Spence? What's wrong? "

Not really sure of how to say what was on her mind Spencer tried to loosen herself up.  
"I was just wondering.. you know, what you were doing tonight "

"Its 11:30 on a Saturday night and I'm home wondering why you flew into my house, up my stairs and slammed my door shut like someone was chasing you. " Aria jumped up from her bed and moved to look out of her window then looked back at Spencer. "Is… Spence, is someone chasing you? Did something happen?"

"No. No one is chasing me. Nothing happened.. well something happened but I wasn't chased " Spencer moved to sit on Arias bed and began to tell her about what had happened to Emily earlier that night. As she neared the end of the story she felt her palms getting sweaty, she was starting to think she imagined the half kiss no kiss and laughed a little. "…then she went to give me a kiss on the cheek goodbye as I turned my head…so it was sort of half on my lips.. " When Spencer had finally looked at Aria she felt even more confused. "What the hell are you smiling about? "

"Are you freaking out because you liked it, didn't like it.. or because you want to know if it will happen again?

"What? What are you talking about? " Spencer stood up and began to pace round the very small room before turning back to Aria. "I am not freaking out! Wait.. am I? Its.. just.. well I know it was accidental but it.. this is ridiculous. " She resumed her pacing while giving reasons as to why it was a non issue, Em was her best friend after all. "I would have known, you do not just get half a kiss one night and suddenly start questioning who you are.. "

Aria looked at her friend with a soft smile. She knew what ever Spencer was feeling, she wasn't ready to deal with it. "Spencer stop pacing. Em gave you a peck goodbye and you happened to turn your head. That's all. Relax and sit. But I do think you should call Wren tonight. "


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you so much to those that have favorite or followed my fic! Feels fantastic to have others enjoy what I'm writing.**  
**I'd like to give a special thank you to fender18. Your advice and encouragement are greatly appreciated. I'm writing this as it comes to me so for right now updates might be a little erratic. ENJOY!**

Chapter 2

"I know it's late, can you talk ?"  
Spencer almost threw her phone as it pinged back almost immediately. Aria slid closer to Spencer so she could read the conversation with Wren. "Spencer? Is everything okay? "

Before Spencer could reply Wren was calling.

"Hello? Look Wren, I know you can't tell me anything about your patients but is it possible that Mona is sneaking out again? "  
"I've been at Radley all night. So has Mona."  
"Are you positive? She has slipped out many times before."  
"Has something happened? Are you okay? "  
"Yes.. yes. I'm fine. I was just asking. I shouldn't have bothered you. Bye "

Spencer looked at Aria as she hung up and stood. She wanted to believe Wren but wanted to ease Emily's fear too.

"I don't think he would have a reason lie.. I know Em is freaked out but I wasn't there. What the hell am I supposed to think now? "

Aria knew Spencer was going into panic and protect mode. She had to come up with a plan to calm her best friend and quick.

"Spence.. Spencer! Does he still live in that apartment downtown? "  
"What? Wren? I don't know.. I haven't been there in a whi.. wait. Why?"  
"Really Spencer ? In a while?" Aria shook her head a bit before continuing. "Go see him in the morning, talk to him again. Maybe you'll get a better sense of whether he is telling you the truth. It really could have been anyone with dark hair Spence."  
"Anything to put Emily at ease.." Spencer moved to the door and opened it ready to leave, she did not want Aria bringing up the almost kiss again. "I'll let you know what he says tomorrow " With that Spencer bolted down the stairs and out to her SUV.

Spencer finally crawled into bed at 1am, exhausted and her mind still spinning. She grabbed her phone, set the alarm for 7:30 so she could head over to Wrens apartment as early as possible. Before she knew it she sent off a text to Emily. "Good night Em, ttyt. :) "  
A few minutes had passed with no response, she figured Emily was already asleep. Just as she closed her eyes she heard the familiar ping. "Night Spence. Thanks again for picking me up tonight. Call me in the morning. Sweet dreams. :)"  
"Definitely"

Spencer read over the few texts again, smiled and fell fast asleep.

Emily too found herself rereading the short exchange and was also smiling to herself. As she faded off to sleep she replayed the moment her lips brushed along Spencer's over and over. She wasn't sure what it all meant yet but she knew for sure it meant something. And Mona? Well.. Mona who?

**Short update for now. As I get further along the updates will be longer. Please review and continue to let me know there is interest in my little story. Thank you again!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you so much to those of you that like, favorite and follow my fic! Thanks for the reviews. It keeps me motivated. It's still mostly a work in progress in my head but endgame is always Spemily! There might be a few roadblocks and lady kisses elsewhere but no worries. Spencer and Emily will figure it out eventually. Stick around. Its gonna be a bumpy ride!**

Chapter 3

After the second time Wren told Spencer how much he cared about her Spencer knew even if he was lying she wasn't getting anything else from the conversation. Or at the very least nothing she cared to talk about. They had a somewhat awkward past and Spencer had zero plans on revisiting it in any way. A few nights of heated make out sessions was not the reason she was there. This was for Emily.. Emily.. Spencer apologized to Wren for the early hour went out to her SUV without a second glance back and headed to her house. Again she found herself parked in front of Arias house. She checked the time- 9:30. Pulling out her phone she sent Hanna a text.

"Coffee and muffins, my house. Asap."

Next she called Aria. "Spencer it's 9:30. On a Sunday. "  
"Just get dressed and meet me at my house. Asap."  
"What did he say?"  
"Just come to my house. I'll tell you there. I already sent Hanna a text. Emily is getting in an extra swim practice so we don't have a lot of time."  
"Okay Okay. I'll see you in like 10 minutes. Bye. "

A text from Hanna had come thru while she was talking to Aria.

"You better have the coffee I like and A tied up in your closet. It's 9:30 Spencer! ON A SUNDAY! "  
"No one is in my closet.."  
"You sure about that? "  
"HANNA! GET DRESSED! MY HOUSE! 10 MINUTES!"  
"Geez calm down. I'm leaving in five "

Spencer knew she was being unusually anxious.. she was not going to let A make Emily a solo target again. The whole 5 minute drive back to her house Emily's name flashed through Spencer's mind at least 20 times. When she finally pulled into her driveway she was smiling like an idiot. 'What the hell is wrong with me? No one is in my closet! Why am I smiling like this?!' Once inside the house she brewed the coffee and set out the stupid bribe muffins then waited.

Ten minutes later both Aria and Hanna walked in to find Spencer sitting at the kitchen island smiling at her cup of coffee. When Aria cleared her throat to make their presence known Spencer jumped clear off her seat.

Hanna looked from Spencer to Aria. "Okay first off why the hell am I up and dressed and in your kitchen before ten AM and secondly why the hell are you all googly eyed and jumpy? Are you hooking up and not telling us? "

Spencer looked back and forth between her two best friends. "Aria.. did you..? "  
Spencer pointed at her lips as her eyes grew wide. "I am not all googly eyed! And really Hanna? Googly eyed? No I'm not..hooking up with anyone. What are we.. 10?"  
Spencer pointed to the coffee and stupid muffins before walking over to the couch and sitting. "You know where everything is, come sit when you're done. "  
The few minutes it took for her friends to make their coffees left Spencer having her own conversation with herself in her head. 'What is wrong with me?! It's not like she leaned over and full on kissed me and she is dating Paige! I am not in any damn closet! I'm not even gay! Did Emily tell Hanna? Emily… Jesus Christ Spencer! Stop getting all dreamy at the thought of Emily. She is your best friend nothing more..'

Aria and Hanna sat on either side of Spencer, breaking her out of her thoughts. They both just stared at her waiting to be told why they were there.

"Spencer what did Wren say? " Aria finally had to ask.

"OH! Oh.. right Wren. Yes, Wren said that Mona was there all night and was with.."

Hanna cut Spencer off mid word. "Okay screw what he said. Spence what is going on with you and Em? I get some rambling text from her last night about a $20 and A and she accide.."

Spencer quickly stood then moved to the couch across from Aria and Hanna and sat before cutting Hanna off mid word. "Nothing happened! I am not in any fucking closet damnit! "

Before anyone knew what was happening Hanna was on her feet and standing over Spencer. She said Emily's name, leaned down then put her hands on Spencer's cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. Not just a peck on the lips. A full on kiss. She swiped her tongue along Spencer's bottom lip and bit a little. When she gasped, Hanna plunged her tongue into Spencer's mouth. There was no real resistance. Hanna was definitely getting the response she thought she would.

Aria just sat there, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Her hand that was holding a piece of muffin was half way between the plate and her mouth. 'This is it ' she thought to herself. 'A has finally made us all crazy.'

It took about thirty seconds before Spencer even attempted to break the kiss, trying to turn her head away. Hanna only held tighter. She had all her answers but she knew Spencer needed a little more convincing. Another ten or so seconds passed before Spencer pushed Hanna away but she couldn't even speak. She just sat there blinking up at Hanna.

Having finally regained her composure, Aria stood looking from Spencer to Hanna with a bit of understanding yet mild disbelief. "Are we on an episode of Bi-curious Teen Girls Gone Wild? Hanna what in the hell was that? You even think about doing that to me and I'll throw my coffee at you. And why the hell did I just sit there watching? A has infected all of our minds! We all need a room at Radley! "

Spencer was still just sitting there looking between Hanna and Aria but thinking about what it would have been like if that had been Emily kissing her. 'Wait, what? Emily. Is. My. Best. Friend.' Spencer kept repeating this to herself.

Hanna walked over to the kitchen island and picked up her purse. She grabbed up two of those stupid muffins, wrapped them in a napkin and shoved them into her purse before looking back to her friends.

"News flash Spence. Straight as an arrow you are not. Honestly Spencer! Do you really think we care? You could hook up with half your field hockey teammates and it wouldn't change the fact that you are our best friend. Well no, those girls are not hot. You are hot. You can do much better.. anyway, Spence.. if it was nothing you wouldn't have freaked out."

Hanna just flashed them both a huge smile.

"Spencer we are having a little get together tonight in the barn. I know your parents are in Philly and we have tomorrow off. Go pick up Emily from practice and tell her what Wren said and that whoever she saw, it wasn't Mona. We'll figure that out later. Right now Aria and I are going shopping. I feel the need to buy a cute new outfit for Caleb and tonight's festivities. Now stop freaking out and deal with it Spencer! Lets go Aria. The mall awaits. Oh.. and Spence? You are an amazing kisser. "

Spencer was still just sitting there staring at Hanna, her mind close to spinning out of control. She watched as her friends walked out the door before finally letting out the breath she didn't even know she had been holding. 'What in the hell just happened?!'

**I don't know exactly what's happening at the sleepover/small gathering just yet but I'm pretty sure there will be alcohol and probably a game of TorD. Jealousy is bound to happen. And an appearance from both Paige and Toby. **

**Xoxo**-


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm so happy to have gained a few more favs and follows along with a review! It lets me know I'm writing something someone else is enjoying! Please continue to do so. Feedback is greatly appreciated!**

_~~~Flashback~~~_

All four girls had gathered at Spencer's house the Friday before the beginning of their junior year. It had been a few weeks or so since they had seen each other with all of them off having end of summer family time.

With Melissa living in Philly, Spencer's parents allowed her to use the barn for whatever she wanted within reason. That particular night the barn was going to be used to have fun and prepare for the upcoming school year. Alcohol would be involved.

Veronica Hastings made it clear that the barn was not party central but she trusted Spencer to make the right decisions when it came to the sleepovers that usually took place at the Hastings residence . Veronica knew without a doubt at some point the girls would find a way to drink alcohol. She also knew Spencer was responsible enough to not let things get out of hand. Teenage girls were going to find a way so providing a safe environment was the best way, in her mind, to minimize any trouble they could possibly get in to.

Spencer had already known the position of team captain for the field hockey team was hers. She had been the teams leading scorer the past two seasons and she was intending to be even better for the new season. Spencer wanted that district championship almost as much as she wanted coffee every morning and everyone knew Spencer needed her caffeine. Practices didn't officially start for a few months but that was no reason to slack on her workouts. Three times a week with a mixture of cardio and strength training. Spencer sure as shit knew she had a killer body but she also knew she had to work hard for it so that Friday she was in her usual spot at the high school training facility.

Spencer opened her eyes when she felt water dripping all over her face. She broke out into a huge smile when she saw Emily standing over her, the droplets of water coming from a pool soaked head of nearly raven colored hair.

There had always been a much deeper connection between them that they could only guess was because of their athleticism. They were the only ones that played any sort of sports and competed at the current highest level available. So when Spencer tugged Emily down by her towel into a tight hug it appeared completely normal.

"Em! I've missed you! With both of our summer camps ending at different times and then our families vacations I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! "

Spencer squeezed Emily one more time not even noticing that Em had fallen completely on top of her. As they both got to their feet Emily tried everything she could to hide the bright red blush she knew was creeping up her neck. She moved in a slow circle, making it look like she was checking out some of the new equipment , until she felt herself calming down.

"I've missed you too Spence. I wasn't sure if you would still be in here. My swim practice ran a little long but I'm glad I poked my head in and found you. I saw Hanna and Aria last week when you were still in New York."

They both headed for the locker room as they continued to tell each other a little bit about how their summer camps went. Of course Spencer and Emily had spoken on the phone and some texts here and there but there wasn't a lot of best friend time. As they stood at their lockers, Spencer removed a small bag filled with shower supplies. Again Emily felt the blush threatening to burst out across her entire body. She couldn't ignore this anymore. She had a crush. On Spencer. Who was her best friend.

"Em? Emily? Five minutes and I'm already boring you? I'm going to shower. I have some of that cucumber scented shampoo and conditioner you love if you want to use some. Oh! And I picked up this cucumber mint body wash that smells so good! Take the stall next to me so we can share "

Spencer laughed and nudged Em before walking off to the showers.

"Oo…okay. I'll be right there. I need to grab a fresh towel. Do you want another one? "

There was no way Emily was going to stand there and risk seeing Spencer remove any article of clothing. Not even a sock. Her hormones had sometimes spiked in Spencers presence but at this very moment all Emily wanted to do was rip her clothes off and join Spencer in the shower. The vision of pushing her best friend against the wall and kissing her until both of their lips were raw keep swirling around in her mind.

"Em are you coming? I'll be done and dressed before you even start. And yes I'll take another towel "

"Yes I'm com… err uhm I'll be right there. "

Emily had moved back to her locker, stripped down and wrapped a fresh towel around her body then made her way over to the bay of semi private showers. She stepped inside the stall next to Spencer hung her towel on the holder and turned the water on. As she stood under the warm stream of water she had closed her eyes and tried to stop thinking about how close she was standing to a very naked and very wet and probably a very soapy Spencer. Just as her mind relaxed Spencers voice broke through her thoughts.

"So what else happened at swim camp? Did you finally work up enough courage to talk to that girl.. what was her name? Sharon? Shannon? I really hope you didn't waste any more time thinking about Maya. I understand she was bi but that doesn't mean you should have to sit back while she dates boys too. She strung you along…"

"Spence.. breathe. One question at a time. Her name was Shannon and yes I did. Nothing really came of it. I wouldn't even call it a summer fling. We just made out a few times in the hot tub.."

"The hot tub? Damn Em! Is she from somewhere around here? "

"Like I said, nothing came of it. Besides swimming and the fact that she was a great kisser.. we really.. well we had nothing in common. And no. She lives right on the Ohio -Pennsylvania border so I don't think I'll even see her at swim meets. And… the Maya thing.."

"Em! Please tell me you aren't thinking about giving in to her insane rationaliza…"

"Spence. First, can you pass the shampoo and second, if you'd let me finish a word before jumping all over me "

"Everything is on the wall between us and I am not jumping all over you! "

Spencer turned her water off, grabbed her towel and stepped out of the stall. With her towel now wrapped around her body Spencer began to dry her hair while listening to Emily. As she moved her head side to side squeezing the water from her hair Spencer caught a glimpse of a very naked and very soapy Emily through the small crack in the shower curtain. Spencer just smiled to herself. She knew Emily had a very toned body. It wasn't like she was lusting after her best friend but damn.. swimmer thighs and those abs.. Spencer could definitely appreciate how great Emily's body looked.

"I'm not interested in dating Maya while she dates other guys too. I care about her but I want to be with someone who wants to be with only me. "

"Good! You deserve so much better than that Em. If Toby wanted to see other people while still being with me it would be over the second he got the sentence out. You're going to find a great girl. Someone who will love you just as much as you love her. And I'm pretty sure she will be everything you ever dreamed of. Okay I'm going to go get dressed. Bring the shampoo and stuff back to the lockers with you."

The rush of emotions, both happy and sad, that filled Emily's mind after hearing Spencer talk about her dream girl left Emily feeling exactly that. Happy and sad. Her dream girl was Spencer but she knew that was never going to happen. Not only was she straight but Spencer was also completely in love with Toby. Emily had accepted that this was how it was and would remain but.. she could still dream.

Emily walked outside to where Spencer was waiting for her in the parking lot. Emily could only laugh when she saw Spencer leaning against her SUV wearing a loose fitting grey Rosewood Sharks t-shirt and blue gym shorts and a pair of blue and white Nikes. It wasn't often Spencer dressed so casually but it always made Emily smile. As Emily got closer she heard Spencer talking and noticed she was on her cell.

"…not tonight babe, Hanna and Aria are staying over tonight and I'm about to ask Emily now… yes I know… I'll miss you too.. tomorrow... okay I'll be there about noon… of course we can … I love you more. Bye."

"Em, Toby says hi and wants you to give him a call when you get a chance. I think the manager at The Brew asked him if you were going to work there again now that summer is over. Anyway, sleep over at my house tonight. The barn is all ours with Melissa in Philly and my parents won't be home until Sunday. "

"You and Toby seem to be doing well, are you sure you don't want to spend alone time with him on our last weekend before school starting? "

"I'm going over to his place tomorrow. I'm sure he can manage a night without me and besides he is hanging out with Caleb. They have this whole bromance thing going on. Leave two loners alone together for a few weeks and it's like they are little kids running amok. It's cute and it lets Hanna and me have time to ourselves. So Hanna said she was picking Aria up around 8 and grabbing some takeout from the Grille. And I really wouldn't doubt if Hanna brought a bottle of something too."

"It wouldn't be a sleepover if Hanna didn't bring it. " Both girls laughed knowing just how true that was. "Okay I have to run a few errands and meet Paige for a late lunch. We are co-captains this year.. I really hope she has gotten over her issues from last year. I do not feel like dealing with The 3 Faces of Eve when it comes to her. That girl needs to accept the fact that she is as gay as they come. I'll probably be at your place around 7:30. "

Just hearing her name put a damper on Spencer's mood. She didn't like Paige. Chances are she would never like Paige. It was obvious that Paige had set her sights on Emily last year but there was no way that she was Emily's dream girl.

"Paige? When did you two start talking again? Have you forgotten about last year and the almost dying thing?!"

"No Spence I haven't. Its just.. I sort of understand it. Not the holding me under water part. But the rest, struggling to figure out if you're gay. She needed someone to talk to. That's it. And I'll be spending a lot of time with her with swimming and traveling for meets. Don't worry Spence, you know I love you more."

Emily didn't even realize what she was saying until the words had left her mouth. For the briefest of seconds they looked each other in the eyes. Emily looked away then moved to get into her car.

"Okay okay. I just don't like her Em. What she did was shitty. Like real shitty."

Spencer watched as Emily got into her car and rolled her window down.

"Hey Em.. I uh I'll see you later."

Later that night all four girls had eaten and already finished off half the bottle of cherry vodka when Hanna suggested a game of TorD. Immediately Spencer jumped up while protesting.

"No way! I am not running around half dressed or kissing any of you or getting in a closet… no way Hanna. Count me out."

"Holy shit Spencer, over dramatic much? Fine we can do something else. But why the fuck are you talking about getting in a closet?"

Again Emily felt both happy and sad. The thought of being dared to kiss Spencer both terrified and excited her and it would have been a dare so she wouldn't have to worry about having to do it on her own. She felt relieved as well. Spencer was her best friend. That's all they would ever be. Em had to accept it... and now there was Paige.

For the rest of the night the girls told each other about what they did or saw and where they went over the summer. By the time everyone was ready to pass out from drinking and exhaustion Emily and Spencer had gravitated closer and closer to one another until they were sitting on the couch with their thighs pressing against each other.

The last few thoughts Emily had before she passed out was of Paige then Spencer. She had kissed Paige after their late lunch but found herself happily snuggled up next to Spencer. Emily hadn't realized Spencer was still awake when she laid her head on Spencer's shoulder. Soon enough both of them had fallen asleep. Both of them happy to be right next to each other.

When Spencer awoke before dawn the next morning she was a little foggy yet so very comfortable. Some time during the night both girls moved to a full laid out position on the couch with Spencer mostly on top of Emily. Her head resting on Emily's chest and her arms fully encircling Emily's body.

'This is why alcohol is bad ' Spencer thought to herself as she slowly peeled herself off of Emily without waking her or so she had thought...

_~~~end flashback~~~_

Spencer bolted upright, her eyes so wide they could easily have fallen out.

"Oh that's just great…" Spencer spoke aloud to herself while trying to get a damn grip and figure out why that particular memory played out in her mind. "Emily is my best friend damnit! And she is with Paige. It doesn't matter if I have feeling.. wait what? I do not have feelings for her! Fuck!"

Spencer shook the thought from her head, looked at the time and decided she needed to get everything ready before her friends showed up. She had an hour to get her thoughts of Emily out of her mind, shower and order some take out. It was going to be a long long night...

**Please review! Feedback and suggestions are always welcome. I do have a vision of where this story is going but it doesn't hurt to get a few different ideas. Stay tuned! Who knows what will happen at the sleepover. Alcohol, ex's , crushes and currents and a very outspoken Hanna. Fun times!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I hope you all are enjoying my fic. I know I'm enjoying it. Thank you again for the favs, follows and reviews! Please keep them coming. They definitely help keep me motivated. Hope you all like this next chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it.**

* * *

Spencer stepped outside, closed the door to the barn and leaned against it with her eyes closed. It was only 9pm and her nerves where already on edge. She had known Hanna was bringing Caleb and if Caleb was there Toby would be too. It'd been about three months since she found out Toby was working with Mona on the A team. As much as she wanted everyone else to believe it, that wasn't the only reason she had ended the relationship. That had definitely damaged her heart but she wasn't in love with Toby. She hadn't been for longer than she was willing to admit to herself or anyone else. She loved him she just wasn't in love. She just was not ready to admit to herself why.

Right above her head Spencer both heard and felt a light knock. Startled out of her own thoughts, she jumped a little and stepped forward as the door opened. Emily stepped outside and closed the door.

"Christ Em! You nearly gave me a heart attack "

"Sorry. I was just coming to see if you needed any help and… Spence.. are you upset or mad at me? "

"What? No.. why? "

"Well you've barely spoken five words to me since I got here. I know I should have told you about Simon coming tonight... Paige thought you would like him. I know I should have ask.."

"No it's fine Em. Its just with Toby here and even thought we have been over for a while it seems a little awkward. Simon seems nice and all. I didn't mean to be rude. "

"I didn't think Toby was coming tonight. Besides, he screwed up when he joined Mona on the torture team. I know how much you.. " Emily swallowed and took a deep breath before she finished her sentence. "How much you are in love with.."

Spencer just stood there, her eyes darting between Emily's lips and eyes. They were standing close enough to each other that it started to make Spencer's heart race. When she heard the last few words Emily said she backed up and cut her off mid sentence. Her voice louder than she had intended.

"No! It was over before he chose Mona and fucking A over me even if he did do it to protect me or us! That just helped me see it…look I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. Its just an odd night I guess. Why don't you go back inside with.. Paige.. I don't need help getting the drinks"

Emily moved forward putting herself inches away from Spencer. When she heard Spencer claim to not be in love with Toby and the fact that she hadn't been for a long time her own heart started to pound heavily. Now her eyes darted from Spencer's eyes to her lips. She reached out slowly and tucked a few strands of hair behind her best friends ear before speaking again. Her voice barely above a whisper.

"It's his loss Spence. I wish you would have talked to me bout this sooner. You are.. someone's dream girl.. Some guy.. or girl.. is hoping and praying that you could be theirs to love… trust me.. someone wants to show you just how much you deserve to be..

Emily's words had tapered off to the point where Spencer couldn't hear anything. It could have been because Emily was whispering but Spencer's heart was pounding so hard she couldn't even hear her own thoughts. Emily leaned forward the last few inches and brushed her lips against Spencer's cheek. There was no turn of her head this time.. she may have not been ready to say it out loud yet but she wanted to feel Emily's lips on her own. Just as Emily started to speak again Hanna's voice rang out like a thunder clap from inside the barn.

"How long does it take to get a damn drink from the house! "

Their eyes met again for the second time that night before Spencer took a step back.

"I'm going to go get the.."

Spencer turned on her heels and walked as fast as she could without actually running, her words lost in the darkness. Just as she moved into the house she heard the barn door open, Hanna's voice and the door shut again.

Spencer was standing next to the kitchen island with her head in her hands when Hanna walked in.

"Hey Spence how long does.. Spence? What's wrong? Did you and Em..?"

"Did we what Hanna?! What? What is it that you think we did? Get in a fucking quickie against the door while everybody and their cousin in on the other side OF THE FUCKING DOOR?!"

"Spencer why are you screaming at me? I wasn't asking.."

Spencer knew what she said was completely ridiculous. Everything.. all of her erratic behavior over the past few months slammed into her and she just couldn't deal. She knew right then and there that she wanted Emily. She wanted to be Emily's perfect dream girl because Emily was her perfect dream girl. But she still couldn't say it out loud. For the second time she lied. She just could not admit it yet.

"I AM NOT GAY! "

"Okay Spencer. You're not gay. I will say this though.. you have feelings for Emily. However you want to put it, whichever it is. It doesn't change the fact that you're my bestie for life. That never changes. And I know the same goes for Aria. Your parents too Spence. And before you get all screamy and crazy again.. just relax and breathe. Do what makes you happy for once. Screw what anyone else thinks. "

Spencer felt herself calming and even let out a light chuckle hearing Hanna say screamy.

"Really Han? Screamy? So uhm.. Thanks.. for you know.. what you said. I have so much on my mind and.. "

"Despite what you might think, you don't have to have life figured out at this very second. So let's go back out to the barn. Besides, I'm still waiting for my drink. "

"Sounds like a great idea.. wait.. really? You can't even carry your own soda? "

Spencer walked back into the barn behind Hanna and placed the 12 pack of coke on the table in between the row of couches and chairs. Hanna was already in the process of mixing a few drinks and was handing Spencer one as Simon approached. He extended his hand and pointed to a more quiet corner.

"Spencer right? I was wondering if we could talk, I didn't realize Paige hadn't told you she bringing me along. "

Spencer sat on one of the chairs off in the corner gesturing for Simon to sit. They were far enough away from the rest of the group to be able to talk freely and not have anyone hear. She took a sip of her drink and nearly choked from the strength it. It was clear Hanna was intending to get Spencer to relax. She choked down another sip and decided to just go with it at this point.

"So Spencer , Paige and Emily told me you are captain of your field hockey team. And that you are quite the student. "

"What? No. I mean yes I am captain but everything else.. I just like school. Actually I love learning. I'm on the debate team and other clubs like that. "

"Well that would explain why my cousin has been talking my ear off about you for the last two hours. I'm captain of the lacrosse team and president of the honor society. I'd say we have a few things in common. Actually I think we have possibly one other thing in common as well."

"Honor society? I'm impressed. What.. so what other.."

Spencer stole a peak at Emily as she spoke. She felt a slight flutter in her stomach when Emily glanced back and their eyes had met yet again that night. She snapped her head back to Simon as she heard his next few words.

"Does Paige know you are into her girlfriend ?"

"I'm what? Excuse me? Did you just say what I think you.. "

"Gaydar is a wonderful thing Spencer. As in..I'm gay. And I haven't told Paige yet. "

"Why would you think I am.. or why haven't you? "

"We all have our own reasons for doing or not doing things. This is, well.. you could easily tell her yourself right now but I have a feeling you won't. "

"I wouldn't. I would never want it done.."

"That's kind of what I thought. So let me see your phone. I'll give you my number. It's very rare that I meet a bookish nerd/jock. If you ever want to talk please feel free to call. Okay? "

Spencer watched as Simon keyed in his name and number into her phone. She wanted to protest when he had implied that she was checking out his cousins girlfriend but she knew.. she knew he had nailed it. In a strange way it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. This person she had never met before was offering her an ear to listen. She knew her best friends were always there for her but Simon was different. He could possibly understand.

"Sure. Yeah , here. It's been a really odd day. Thank you. "

Spencer stood after Simon handed her phone back and made her way back to rest of the group. She joined Hanna and Aria on the couch as they talked and laughed with Caleb and Toby. She caught Toby's eyes once and they shared a knowing and comforting smile and nod. She may not had been in love with him for a long time but she knew they had a bond that really couldn't be broken. Spencer was okay with that and she knew on some level so was he.

It was nearing midnight when Toby and Caleb left. Spencer was slightly buzzed yet very far from drunk but her lack of sleep was starting to catch up with her. She cleaned up the few remaining plates and cups when she heard Paige's voice coming from outside. She walked over to the door, not wanting to eavesdrop but for some reason she just couldn't stop herself.

"Em Its a simple yes or no. "

"Why are you even asking me this right now? Why do you need an answer right this very moment? "

"Yes or no. Are you? Are you at all in love with me?"

The barn door was cracked open so Spencer heard the exchange between Paige and Emily word for word. Her mind kept screaming for her to walk away but her heart needed to know the answer too. She saw Emily shake her head no just as her phone pinged. She looked away from the scene outside she saw ***1 new msg received - unknown sender*** Without opening the msg, Spencer tried to focus on what was happening outside.

"Paige.. I just.. it's not that I don't, but are you with me?

"I guess that's why I asked. I'm not. "

"So what are you telling me here? "

Spencer's curiosity got the better of her and she opened the text. What she saw almost made her heart stop but she heard Emily's voice again.

"Paige, are you breaking up with me?"

"Em I do care so much about you but you.. I can't compete with anyone else. Especially her. "

"Compete with who? There is no one else, why would you say? Who is her, Paige? "

"You have feelings for her. You can deny it to me and everyone else but it doesn't make it any less true. Tell her Emily. Take the risk and just tell her. Spencer needs to know. "

Spencer's phone pinged again just as Hanna stepped up behind her. Her attention was so focused on listening to what Paige was saying and the second text from A that she didn't know Hanna was there until she grabbed the phone right out of Spencer's hands. She completely missed who it was Paige thought Emily had feelings for.

Hanna opened the first text and saw the picture of Emily kissing Spencer's cheek the night before. From the angle it didn't look very innocent. Then she opened the second text and her eyes went wide. Hanna swallowed the lump in her throat and handed the phone back to Spencer so she could look at it.

Another picture. It was from just a few hours previous. Again it showed Emily kissing Spencer's cheek but the angle made it appear to be so much more than that. The words that Spencer read next made her gasp and walk quickly to one of the chairs. Her knees nearly giving out on her. _***Spencer and Emily sitting in a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G. How many photocopies can a $20 buy. Kisses Bitch. -A***_

"Hanna, what am I.. I can't have these pictures being posted all over town. Em.. she.. " Spencer swallowed hard. "Paige just broke up with Emily. She said she doesn't want to compete with anyone.. Han, did you know there was someone else? "

"Spence don't let A take this away from you. Em is going to walk back in here any minute now and.. I know what you said before. You have to tell her how you feel. Take back control from A. Do it before this freak does. You should be the one to tell her.."

Spencer knew she have lied about her feelings for Emily. Twice. There was no denying it anymore. A way forcing her hand but if she was honest with herself.. She was a little thankful for it. There was no more time to think. Now it was time to do.

Hanna made her way back up to the loft when she heard the door open then shut softly. As much as she wanted to know what was going to happen next she knew Emily and Spencer needed their privacy. She just hoped Spencer would finally be able to admit it. Just as she got to the top step she heard Emily and Spencer speak at the same time.

Emily closed the door, took a deep breath and slowly walked to where Spencer was was now standing. Their eyes met and Emily felt the butterflies come to life in her stomach and her heart pound against her ribcage. She was in love with Spencer and in that moment she knew she had to risk it all. She stopped about a foot away from Spencer and opened her mouth to speak at the same time Spencer spoke.

"Emily, I have to tell you something. "

"Spence, I have to tell you something. "

* * *

**Will they finally tell each other how they feel? If so how will A react to being beaten to the punch? Please feel free to comment and let me know what you think so far!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: New reviews make my day! Thank you! It really does help keep me motivated. I really do hope I am doing Spemily some justice. Please continue to read and review.**

* * *

Spencer and Emily stood three feet apart just staring at each other. Their eyes locked on each other. Both girls knew this moment had been a long time coming. Five words. Spencer knew five words would change everything. Emily knew once she spoke those five words, her life as she knew it was going to change.

Spencer inched her way closer to Emily until they were a breath apart. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure Emily could hear it. The voice in her head was screaming, telling her to either say those five words now or go for broke and kiss Emily. She leaned in closer, her lips brushing Emily's cheek and began to speak. Her eyes fluttered closed. Her voice coming out in the softest of whispers.

"Em.. I... I have fe.."

Before she could get the rest out she heard Emily's cell start to play Paige's ringtone and the barn door opened seconds later. Emily pulled away and turned to look at Paige, missing the look of devastation and tears in Spencer's eyes.

"Paige, I thought you left? "

"I really wanted to be wrong. I wanted you to tell me I was wrong. I wanted you to.. I wasn't wrong though. I'm sorry.. that I couldn't be.. her.."

"Paige.. I didn't mean for this to…"

Emily stood with her back to Spencer as she watched Paige walk outside and get into her car. She'd have to deal with that later. It was another long moment before Emily spoke.

"Tell me Spencer. I need you to tell me what just happened is really.. tell me what you were going to say. Please. "

When Spencer didn't reply she turned and saw the tears. She wasn't moving any closer until she heard something, anything. Everything was about to change. Every single thing.

"Spence, please say something.."

"Yes. "

"Yes what Spence? Please tell me I'm not about to ruin everything "

Emily didn't even realize she was walking toward Spencer until she was practically touching her. The words she heard Spencer whisper set her heart ablaze. There was no more wondering. She had her answer. She was on the brink of having everything she had wanted since as far back as she could remember.

"Yes, Em, I have feelings for you. Please tell me you feel the same way.. "

Emily ran her fingers up Spencer's arms, up to her neck and finally rested her hands on either side of her face. Emily watched Spencer's eyes close as she replied.

"I honestly can't remember a time when I didn't. It's always been you Spencer. You have always been my dream girl. "

Two times. Two times Spencer had lied. She couldn't hold it in any longer. The third time. The third time she told the truth. This was the ultimate moment of truth and she didn't regret it one bit.

"I'm going to kiss you now. So if this isn't what you want you need to stop me right now."

Without another seconds hesitation Emily gently pressed her lips to Spencer's. At the exact same second both girls relaxed into each other. Emily kept her right hand on Spencer's cheek while her left hand slid back to tangle in Spencer's soft auburn locks. In return, Spencer slid her arms around Emily's waist and held on as tight as she could. Emily broke the kiss and rested her forehead against the bridge of Spencer's nose so she could ask one last time.

"Are you sure? I don't think I could handle losing you in my life.."

"Emily, I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. You could never lose me. "

Spencer felt her back hit the wall before she realized Emily had steadily been moving her backwards. As Emily pressed her lips to Spencer's again it felt like electricity was running through her veins and when Emily slid her tongue along her bottom lip Spencer instantly granted her mouth access. Their tongues found each other. There was no question as to who was dominating this kiss. Spencer's knees almost gave out on her but she was pinned so tightly between Emily and the wall she knew she wasn't going to slide down.

Spencer was so lost in the kiss. Nothing had ever felt this fucking amazing. No one had ever kissed her like this. She felt the years of yearning in the way Emily held her so tightly and she felt her own arousal building when Emily pressed her thigh solidly up against Spencer's center. Right before her lust consumed her, Spencer broke the kiss. The first reason being the need for oxygen. The second reason, Spencer wasn't ready. Sure she'd had sex before and Toby wasn't her first either but this.. this was different.

"I know Spence. I know you're not ready. I just.. I really didn't think we would ever be here.. like this. I could kiss you for hours and still not have kissed you long enough."

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to hold you to the kissing me for hours thing. But I'm not ready to… and.."

Emily gave Spencer a quick kiss on the lips before tugging her over to the couch. They sat so close their thighs touched and they both let out a giggle before having their attention turned up to the loft. Hanna and Aria were looking down at them with the biggest smiles.

"I thought you'd never find your way out of the closet , Spence. The sexual tension between you two was making my hair curl."

"Hanna, really right now? You can't even give them one night without taking a shot at them.."

"They know I'm not taking shots at them. Guys you know I'm not taking shots right? I'm going to sleep. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a long long day. "

"Yes Hanna. Goodnight Hanna. Goodnight Aria. "

Emily leaned her head down onto Spencer's shoulder the same way she had done that night before the start of their junior year. In that very moment Emily couldn't possibly have been any happier. She felt Spencer's arm wrap around her and within minutes she was sleeping, cuddled next to the girl of her dreams. Spencer quickly followed Emily into dream land.. more happier than she had been in quite some time...

* * *

**Now that that's out of the way.. let's see how Spencer deals with A's threats.. and I'm not so sure Paige is ready to give up on Emily just yet..**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you thank you thank you so much for the reviews! Besides the motivation to keep this story going, I love the feedback! My original plan was to go 5 or 6 chapters but the story has taken on a life of its own and i am loving writing it. **

**Hold on tight guys! The road is about to get really bumpy but endgame is, was and always will be Spemily :)**

* * *

Hanna rolled over on to her back while stretching out her sleep sore body. Her mouth felt like she had a bag full of cotton balls in it and her head felt like someone was playing the drums inside her skull. She mumbled to herself about her friends and alcohol and they must not love her because why would they let her drink so much as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Hanna jumped then cursed under her breath from the added banging in her skull when she heard Aria's voice coming from right above her head.

"Oh please, Han. You say this every time. You wanted to drink."

"Fucking hell Aria! Make some noise before you just start speaking! Oh my god my head.. and why does my mouth taste like ass?!"

"Speaking is making noise and I told you not to take the cheap bottle. "

Hanna grumbled more to herself while looking from side to side, a little confused as to why she was in bed with Aria yet there was no sign of Spencer or Emily. There were three beds in the loft and someone always ended up sharing a bed but at that moment Hanna couldn't get her hungover mind to process fast enough.

"Ugh.. my mom totally would have noticed the good stuff missing. Where the hell are Emily and Spencer and what the hell time is it?"

"I guess they wanted some alone time and crashed on the couch downstairs. Its like 7:30.."

"Holy shit! Last night they finally.. that was totally.. wait 7:30?! Why the hell.. how long have you been awake? Why the hell am I awake? "

"About an hour."

"An hour? You love sleep just as much as I do. Hold up. Why? Did something hap.."

"Han, check your phone. Its been going off since around 6:30. "

Hanna grabbed her phone from the table beside the bed, quickly unlocked it and just stared at it for a few seconds.

"Three missed calls and 5 new messages. Why do I get the feeling that these aren't from my mom looking for a missing bottle of vodka."

"I can almost guarantee you…" Aria stopped mid word when she saw the look of panic pass over her friends face.

"Why was Caleb calling me so early.. and three texts.. please tell me the others aren't from A.."

Aria leaned in to watch the video now playing on Hanna's phone. It was from the morning before. Hanna just sat there watching herself and Spencer kissing. Aria had already seen the video and she was pretty sure all four of them had received the same message but she wasn't the one who would suffer from it. When the video stopped Hanna read the second message from A and that explained the early morning calls and texts from Caleb.

"After your phone woke me up I heard Spencer's phone go off twice. Then I got the same text with that video. Emily's phone pinged three times right after that. I can only guess Caleb got the same thing."

"I told Caleb after I dropped you off yesterday. He was a little bit annoyed at first then he was all crazy horny. Christ! He didn't know the texts had started up again.. I can't even read the texts from Caleb right now. "

"Of course he was. I'm not even into girls and that was pretty ho…. And now you will forget I ever said that. "

"Okay but I'm just saying, she does this thing with her tongue. If it was for Em and then you watching.. I could have kissed her all morning. Its true."

"She does that rolly thing and she sort of hums.."

"How the hell did you know that?"

"We were talking about it one day, like last year. I guess Toby had really liked the humming thing and…"

"Okay stop. Ew and stop. "

"Gross! Not like that! "

Hanna picked up a bottle of water from the nightstand and began to take large gulps. She was about halfway done when a very loud shrieking scream rang out through the barn. Both girls jumped to their knees on the bed, Hanna spit her mouthful of water out and shook the rest of the bottles contents all over herself, Aria and the bed.

"What the hell, Hanna?! Who was.. was that Spencer?"

Aria brought her shirt up to wipe away the water dripping from her face and neck while Hanna used the back of her hand and sleeve to dry her face and chin.

"Go look over the railing. "

"No way. You go look. I think my head just split in half. If someone is down there hacking them to bits and pieces.. "

Aria crawled off the bed pulling a very resistant Hanna along with her. She might have been the smallest of the four girls but she had freakish strength and a vice like grip on Hanna's wrist.

"Hanna! We'll both look. "

"I'll seriously pass out. I feel like I'm in some deranged psycho stalker movie. Oh! That's right. We do have a deranged psycho stalker.."

"Hanna! Will you stop talking. "

They crept forward and peered over the railing down to the middle of the open space. Spencer was laid out on the longest of the three couches on her back. Emily was nowhere in sight. No shoes. No jacket. No cell phone. No Emily. Hanna leaned in closer to Aria, Her voice coming out in a loud whisper.

"Where the hell is Emily? Did you hear her leave? "

"I thought I heard the door open and shut like a half hour ago but I was dozing in and out..she came with Paige last night, didn't she? "

"Shit! Come on, let's go down and check on Spence. Aria, if she's dead.."

"She's not dead Hanna! "

Hanna and Aria linked arms and slowly made their way down the stairs and over to the couch Spencer was laid out on. Aria looked around the barn again looking for any sign of Emily while Hanna stared down at her sleeping friend. All at once Spencer raised up and flipped onto her stomach sending the already frazzled friends stumbling backwards. Aria slapped her hand over Hanna's mouth while letting out a string of curses and dragging Hanna outside.

"Shit! Son of a bitch! God Damnit! I'm gonna have grey hair before I turn 18!"

Hanna slid out of Aria's grip and held one hand to her chest with the other flailing around wildly.

"I seriously almost just peed my pants! Actually I did a little. I hate them both! The next time we have a sleepover I'm waiting until she" Hanna leaned over the hood of her car, taking in a deep breath before ranting on. "Falls asleep and then I am going to get right next to her and then.. then I'm going to let out the loudest, blood curdling and window shattering, horror movie scream I can! Fuck her! In fact I should go and do that right now... "

"Eww Han. Get a damn grip and lower your voice! Don't wake Spencer yet. Em wouldn't just leave for no reason, especially after last night. We have to find her before we wake Spencer up. Call her. "

"Fine. But I am going to.. wait.. it rang once then went to voicemail. She sent me to..voicemail? You call her. Its not even 8 am and I'm already over this day."

"Straight to voicemail. Shit Han! The video! Think about it.. Emily gets woken up by a text from A and it's a video of you.. you kissing Spencer. We all knew but I really doubt Spencer was all like 'hey guess what, Hanna slipped me the tongue' I mean that must have freaked her out. "

The hammer pounding in Hanna's head is joined by a quickly tightening knot forming in the pit of her stomach when they both hear Spencer call out for Emily followed by 'please tell me this isn't .. ' a few seconds pass before Spencer is standing in the doorway, one hand clutching her phone the other raking threw her hair.

"Where is Emily? Is she in the house? Please tell me she is in the house. There's a text.. from fucking A! a video.. Hanna it's of you kissing me! "

"We know Spence. Hanna got the same thing. So did I and Em.. Emily got it too. A sent it to us one by one this morning but she was gone before we came down from the loft. We both just called but.. "

"But what?! What! How do I even begin to explain this? It stops before I pushed.. oh god. I barely just got her. Please tell me this isn't happening. "

When Spencer's knees hit the ground she heaved her phone into the shrubs, her arms wrapped tightly around her own body. Aria was next to her best friend in an instant holding her close, murmuring a few calming words in her ear. Hanna already knew what she needed to do.

"I'm gonna go look for her. I'm gonna fix this Spence. I promise. "

"I'll send her an s.o.s. If she responds I'll let you know Han. "

"Okay.. I'll do the same. I really fucking hate A. "

Aria watched Hanna get into her car and speed off. She pulled her phone out and sent the s.o.s. but she had a feeling there would be no response. She opened the message from A that she hadn't told her friends about.

***Poor Emily. The weakest link is always the first to break the circle. Poor Hanna. Impulsivity leads to mistakes. Mistakes are rarely forgiven so easily. Two weak links. Poor Spencer. Yet again the strongest link will be tested. Let's keep this a secret. Shall we? Kisses. -A***

Aria shoved her phone back into her pocket and resumed rocking her friend back and forth. She knew she made a huge mistake by not showing Hanna the text but Aria also knew that even though she and Ezra had split, there was a lot she could lose too. A now knew Spencers secret and A was closing in on exposing to everyone that Spencer was gay. Aria just hoped that if she played along it would give her friend enough time to tell her parents. It was Spencers story to tell and Aria would try her best to give her best friend the time she needed. She could apologize and explain later.

* * *

**Hmmm to what lengths will Aria go to protect her friends? What was it that made Emily leave without saying anything?**

**I had a lot of fun with this chapter. The back and forth banter between Hanna and Aria was so much fun to write. I hope you all enjoyed it to. Please follow, fav and review. Let me know what you think!**

**XoXo FindingSide**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thank you so much for the reviews! I love knowing you all are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it. Definitely want to give a huge thank you to Fender18! Your advice is so greatly appreciated. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter. Its mostly of a filler but with some crucial details. Don't hate on Emily too much. She's stubborn and sensitive. **

**Enjoy! Xoxo**

* * *

Hanna had driven to Emily's house first but after ringing the doorbell and pounding on the door she was positive no one was home. Second up she found the kissing rock in the woods also showed no signs of Emily. As she got back into her car Hanna was starting to feel as if this was about more than Emily seeing her kiss Spencer. It hadn't even been twelve hours ago that Emily was still with Paige, even if she had been harbouring feelings for their best friend.

There was one more, possibly two more places Hanna could think of to look but she was in need of a serious dose of caffeine and a shower couldn't come soon enough. She drove the two minutes back to her house while trying to figure what it was that seemed so out of place. Showered and wearing clean clothes, Hanna sat in her kitchen sipping coffee. She'd just hung up with Caleb after promising to meet up with him later to talk about why she hadn't let him know about the texts again when Aria called.

"Hey I was just about to call. "

"Any luck finding Em? "

"Not yet. I stopped home to shower but, Ar.. this feels like more than just that clip of me and.."

"I know. I was thinking that too."

"How is she?"

"It wasn't good after you left but I finally got her up to her bedroom and Melissa showed up. Spence had just fallen asleep. "

"Melissa? I thought she was in Philly?"

"Han.. I hope you're sitting.."

"Christ what happened now? "

"I went downstairs to make some coffee and a few minutes later Melissa is sitting next to me in the kitchen. "

"Why do I get the feeling A is involved? "

"She turned to me and showed me the same video we got of you and…"

"WHAT? When the hell did she start getting A mail? What did she say?"

"She didn't look shocked at all then she tells me she had known for a while even though Spencer hadn't told her."

"What..how? I mean I kinda always felt a difference in the way she was with Em but.."

"She said she had just always had a feeling but wanted to wait to be told and with them not being so close lately.. And she knew about the texts from A. Then she asked if you two were.."

"Great. A goes all peeping Tom and suddenly Spencer and I are.."

"Hanna! Stop talking and listen. "

"Okay! Go ahead. "

"I told her no. Then she asks if Emily.."

"This is not for us to tell Ar, I mean... what if she tells their parents? Don't you think Spencer should be the one to say something?"

"She asked but I didn't say yes or no. I don't know Han, I really got the feeling that Melissa was asking because she actually cares. "

"Spencer changes teams and suddenly Melissa is all sister of the year?"

"I wouldn't nominate her for any awards just yet but it really seems like she was worried. She promised that she wouldn't tell Spencer I said anything.. I can't even imagine what she's going through. "

"It is kinda hard to trust her. She did pick Ian over Spencer. "

"She picked the man she loved. A shitty choice but still. Haven't we all done that in a way? Maybe Spence needs her support. When she tells her parents it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to have her older sisters support. "

"I guess. "

"And after what she went through with Toby..Mr. and Mrs. Hastings might throw her a party. Okay I'm gonna shower then head back up to her room. Let me know when you find Em. Text me though.. just in case.."

"Go scream in her ear. See how she likes it. "

"Really? Really right now? "

"What! She made me pee my pants! Fine. Whatever. I'll talk to you in a bit. "

Hanna sat in her kitchen feeling even more unsettled after hearing about Melissa. She did have to admit that if Melissa was truly there to support Spencer if could possibly be a good thing. She wasn't completely sold on that idea though.

'Two more places that I can think of' Hanna said to herself as she climbed back into her. All four girls had their own separate places to go when they needed space or a place to think. She knew when Emily needed to work out whatever was bothering her she would go to the pool and swim lap after lap. It was the one place that was hers.

Hanna pulled up next to the athletics dept. building but didn't see the car she was looking for. She did see Paiges. A sinking feeling started up in the pit of her stomach again. Hanna had heard Paige break up with Emily and minutes after overheard her best friends finally confessing their feelings for one another. She couldn't imagine anything A could have done to send Emily running back to Paige, But it wouldn't have been the first time Emily had run off to brood instead of dealing. She loved her friend to pieces but it frustrated her to no end. The brooding and silence and a freeze out that made you feel like standing on an iceberg would be warmer. Hanna quickly reigned in her thought and, as quietly as she could, made her way to the locker room. She needed the facts first and.. if she was being honest with herself, she needed Spencer to finally get the girl. Spencer was the one who always needed to remain in control. There was no letting loose. That would mean the possibility of not coming out on top. To Spencer that was never an option. Hanna knew this and even though it aggravated her at times it was something all three girls accepted.

Hanna rounded the corner and ran smack into Paige. Emily had been a few paces behind but once she saw Hanna it was obviously that the situation was about to get worse. Paige glanced from one best friend to the other before disappearing down the hall.

"Why are you here?!"

"Why didn't you answer my call or my s.o.s.?"

"Look I really don't want to talk right now Hanna."

"You don't want to talk or you don't want to talk to me? Because I get it if you're upset with me and.."

"Both. And now I'm leaving with Paige.."

"What the hell is going on? She dumps you last night for all the right reasons and now.. what.. you're back with her because of some stupid text from A? If you want to be mad at me that's…"

"Mad at you?! You know what.. I don't even care. You want her? She's yours. You and Caleb have a blast with her.."

"What? Ew! Caleb and.. what the fuck are you talking about Em?! What does that even mean? "

All at once Hanna remembered Aria say Emily received three messages while the rest of them got one or two. Her mind was working so fast she almost missed the next few words Emily said.

"She had us all fooled! Oh Spencer is so innocent and.."

"Okay! Em.." Hanna took a deep breath as the pieces started to come together. "How many texts did you get from A? "

"Why does that even matter? You know what, it doesn't. Stay the hell a way from me and keep her away from me too."

Hanna reached out a hand placing it on Emily's shoulder. It was growing more and more obvious that this wasn't just about her kissing Spencer. This was no part of good.

"Em.. please? Just tell me what happened. I heard what you said to her last. What could A have said to change that? "

Emily fought off the tears threatening to spill as she handed her phone over. She turned away not wanting to see it again.

"Go ahead. Play them."

Hanna scrolled to the unknown sender, clicked on it and saw a total of 3 messages. All video clips. She passed the first one up knowing it was of her. The second clip started to play and Hanna almost couldn't believe her eyes.

"Is that Noel Kahn? "

There was Spencer and Noel at some party. Hanna started to feel sick as she watched her usually very reserved friend knocking back shots in between some serious making out with Noel. The clip ended right after she heard Noel say 'it's about time you left that loser and traded up.'

"Okay so this was right after she found out about Toby being..so that was in February."

The last video began to play and there was Spencer again. Same party but now she was grinding up against some different guy. Hanna was nearly positive this guy was a freshman and not the high school kind. The music was causing so much static that she couldn't hear any words but she saw Spencer pull her shirt off, toss it behind her then stumble her way up some stairs while attached to the guys lips. When the clip stopped she forwarded them both to her own phone before looking back up to meet Emily's eyes while handing the cell back. They were so dark and pained that it actually hurt Hanna.

"Em you have to talk to her about this. You know it was right after everything with Toby.. and how hard that hit her."

"See that's not even true. It had been over between them way before that she just.. it doesn't even matter. Right now I couldn't care less. "

"Don't you see what A is doing? Trying to break the circle, our circle. Divide and conquer. "

"No. A didn't make her jump in bed with anyone. She did that all on her own.. with Noel Kahn?! Last I knew they hated each other. And some other random guy? No. I have to go, Paige is waiting."

As soon as Emily was out of sight Hanna sent off a text to Aria. They needed to put their heads together and figure out a way to get Emily to talk to Spencer and right at that moment Hanna was at a complete loss.

"S.O.S! My house! Alone."

"Ten mins. "

* * *

**Its going to take Emily a while to get over the shock of seeing the girl she had loved for so long acting so reckless. Bumpy road ahead! Please R&R! Reviews keep me motivated. **  
**Xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: First off I'd like to say thank you to all the followers. I really can only hope you all continue on this Spemily journey with me. I am not fully satisfied with this chapter but I decided to just post it and ask what everyone thinks. I've read so many amazing fics and I hope this has enough of a different and interesting premise to keep you all hanging on.**

**Again I want to thank those of you that reviewed. Keep them coming. Good or bad and even suggestions are welcomed. **

**Enjoy! **

**Xoxo **

* * *

Aria sat in Hanna's kitchen just staring at the screen of her friends cell. The first clip had stopped and Aria was a bit on the shocked side. She'd dated Noel briefly, both before Ezra and more recently after their painful breakup. It hadn't been that serious, just a few dinners and movies but Spencer with Noel? And why did it look like they were very comfortable with one another?

"Han, the weirdness factor is.. I don't even know what I just saw. "

"I keep waiting for my doppelganger to walk in and tell me we accidentally got switched and I can go back to my normal life."

"If she/you show up don't forget to take me with you. So wait, Spencer hooked up with Noel.. and tell me if I'm wrong but am I the only one who got the feeling that that wasn't a first time for them?"

"I didn't the first time I watched it but I kept replaying it trying to pick up anything else and, yeah… that was not the Spencer and Noel we see bickering in the halls.. even if she was drunk."

"Hey do you remember that time we rounded the corner down by the locker room and they were.."

"Last year. Right when school started back up. Weren't they huddled real close or something like that? They always argued like little kids but.. I think it was different after that.. Wasn't that after she spent most of the summer at her families lake house?"

"Right! Guess who else's family has a house out there. So.. okay what am I missing? "

"Watch the second video. That one tripped me out even more.. "

"If it's them doing it I'm not watching. I might not have slept with him or had serious feelings for him but that's.. weirdness factor on another level. "

"Oh.. no.. it's not Spencer doing it with Noel. Ew. I never want to see that. Just ew. "

Aria let out a light laugh as her friend made gagging noises. There was still something that didn't make sense but for some reason she kept thinking she remembered.. a school dance? maybe a party? at the end of their freshman year.. did her best friend and her ex boyfriend dance together? Aria just couldn't remember it all yet. She pressed play and the second clip started to play. After what felt like an hour but was only maybe thirty seconds, the clip stopped. Aria put the cell down, stood and walked out onto Hanna's back porch.

"What the hell did I just see? Who the hell was that guy? And was that the same party? With Noel? I have never seen Spencer acting like that."

"It was in February so I can only guess it was like right after she found out about Toby. Emily said something about Spencer not being completely truthful about their breakup, which if you think about Spencer finally accepting that she's gay and all, that makes sense but.. he fooled us all and her more than us. That's still a lot to deal with. So getting drunk and wanting a random hook up doesn't seem so.."

"Yeah looking at it that way, that makes a lot of sense. But the Noel thing.. that's where I'm a little lost. Hey, the end of freshman year there was like a party or something.. why do I keep thinking I saw them dancing.. or talking and laughing together? "

"Yes! It was some end of year party or something.. they didn't dance though.. but they sat talking and laughing and Ali kept asking why Noel would want to waste his time on an uptight prude like Spencer. "

"Oh my god! That's right. So later that summer Spencer.. what.. spends time with him at their lake houses? "

"We should probably just ask her. Do you think we should go over or call her and ask her to come here? Wait, do you think she is going to tell her parents? "

"She was still really upset and when Emily didn't respond to any of her texts or calls.. Han, she just looked so crushed. I hope she tells them before A take a that away too."

"We both heard what they said to each other last night. I'm pretty sure Spence has been dealing with her feelings for Em for a while now.. even if she didn't even realize it until now. "

"Melissa said their parents were coming home around three so they could do an early dinner at the country club. So that gives us like three hours to.."

"To what? Show her videos of herself and two guys hooking up? The same two videos that were sent to the girl she just admitted to having feeling for and to? The same girl that left without a word when she saw them.."

"I get.. actually no. I don't get why Em would do that and it's not like they won't see each other every day in class. I'll ask her to come here. We need to figure something out. Sad and moody Spencer is.."

"Sad and moody Spencer AND Emily. Christ! They need to get over themselves and be happy and together Spemily."

"Spemily? "

"I don't know. It sounded good in my head. I need more caffeine. Just call her. I'm gonna make more coffee. "

* * *

Spencer walked in to her friends house and made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. When she walked in Spencer was met with two sets of eyes looking her over. She'd already spent the last two hours with her sister asking enough questions to make Spencer want to run screaming from her house so when Aria called, Spencer was already half way out the door.

"Both of you stop looking at me like that! Did you talk to Em? She still isn't responding to me at all. What could A have possibly done to.."

"Uhm.. yeah I saw her. She was at the pool with.."

Aria nudged Hanna and shook her head no then moved over to sit on bed. She knew they would have to tell their best friend about Paige but that could wait. Spencer sat next to Aria with her back against the headboard and her legs pulled up tight against her chest. Aria placed a hand on her friends back trying to supply a little bit of reassurance, of what she wasn't even sure at the moment.

"Spence, so uh.. see here's the thing.. "

"Spencer when the hell did you hook up with Noel Kahn? "

The brunettes head shot up off her knees, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Out of all the possible things Spencer had come up with this was no where even close to being on the list. Sucking in a deep breath, she knew it was probably time to fill her friends in.. and by the sounds of it, eventually the girl she was falling for.

"Call him. Ask him to come over, if that's okay with you Han. I'm guessing this is A related and he… he should be here. "

Not much more than ten minutes had passed when Noel had rang Hanna's doorbell and was led up stairs by the blonde. He took one look around the room and his usual smug demeanor faded. He greeted Aria with a slight smile and a twinkle in his eyes before taking in Spencers pained expression. Without any thought to their surroundings he slid onto the bed and wrapped Spencer up in a tight hug, asking softly if she was okay.

"Spence? What happened? You okay? "

Both Hanna and Aria, now standing at the foot of the bed, watched the scene as if it was being played out on a giant movie screen. The shorter of the girls wasn't as shocked as Hanna, she knew Noel was not the jerk he liked to let everyone believe, but it still felt like she had slipped into bizarro land. Hanna had seen enough insanity for one day and started waving her hands and trying to find words for what she was seeing.

"What the hell?! What am I even seeing right now? Seriously, are we on some sort of.. Spence, I need an explanation before I have a meltdown! "

Hanna tossed her phone at Noel and told him to play the second and third clip. He caught the cell and hit play, angling the screen so both he and Spencer could watch. They both watched in silence but it was clear that the normally very in control teen was becoming anything but in control. When the second video stopped Spencer buried her face in the boys shirt while fighting to hold back her tears. She knew Emily seeing her like that.. drunk and all over two guys.. in one night.. It was definitely time to tell her friends. Noel murmured softly into her ear asking if she wanted him to explain from the beginning and when she nodded he looked back up at Hanna and Aria and began the story.

"The summer before sophomore year our parents wanted a little family time away from Rosewood. Melissa was there off and on being her usual 'bitchy and very annoying' self and so was my older brother. Neither of us wanted to deal with their shit so we found ourselves spending more and more time alone together. At first we would only talk about our complete disdain for our older siblings but.. before we had even realized it, we spent all day and night together just talking about anything.. everything.. you name it we talked about it. Some days we would race out to the platform in the middle of the lake and lay there and pretend it was our own private world. I didn't have to be perfect and the number one quarterback or defensive lacrosse player of the year.. Aria we have a history so you know I'm not always a jerk. "

Hanna was starting to get a feel as to where this was going. Her eyes scanned Aria first then Noel before settling on Spencer who had shifted and was sitting with her head resting on the headboard, staring up at the ceiling. Hanna knew her friend was lost in thought, trying to figure out how to tell Emily.

"So how do you two go from spending so much time together to hating each other in front of everyone at school like a month later?"

"I don't hate Spence but I get why you'd think that. So.. it was mid August and we had both just gotten back from our summer camps and I realized I had missed her more than I wanted to admit and vice versa. Spence here, she didn't back down when we argued and I had seen this strong yet soft side to her. Sometimes it was like looking in a mirror. One night while we were walking back from this little store in town I grabbed her hand. And when she didn't pull away I asked if I could kiss her. "

Noel poked the girl sitting next to him and let out a laugh when she swatted at him with a huff. He smiled, a hint if sadness in his eyes, before he continued.

"Things moved faster than they should have, even though I don't regret it at all. We don't fit as a couple. And once classes started back up we couldn't find solid ground between each other anymore. We all know how difficult it is once you step through those doors and walk down those hallways. We agreed that the summer was perfect but that's all. So she went off in her direction and I went off in mine. "

"Yep. Bizarro land. Okay.. so why are you two all over each other at a party a few months ago?"

Spencer finally cleared her throat indicating that she would fill her two best friends in. She felt a little shitty inside for having kept this from Aria but it was an agreement she would have kept with Noel if she'd had a choice. Now with Hanna asking about the clip, she had to spill it all. She took a deep breath, composed her thoughts and plowed on with the rest of the story.

"Well.. things with Toby.. uh.. had started to shift for me before I found out about the A thing. I just didn't love him the way I thought I was supposed to. I had been questioning things about myself but kept pushing it aside. The night I found out, I needed to get away from everyone..everything. Now I know why he had done it but in that moment.. it really felt like I had let you all down. I drove out to that park, the one with the gazebo, on the other side of town. I don't remember how long I was there but I had climbed up onto the roof of the gazebo and just sat there. I uhh.. cried until the tears just stopped. The next thing I knew Noel was sitting next to me. He didn't ask what or why. He just sat there next to me and waited for me to say something. I mumbled about just having broken up with Toby and when he asked me to repeat myself I just leaned in and kissed him. I wanted to stop feeling and when I said as much Noel convinced me to go to a.. party.. at his cousins place. A few shots later I wasn't feeling much of anything besides numb and.. well you saw.. The other guy.. that's his cousin. I didn't sleep with him though. Noel had grabbed my shirt and followed us up the stairs. They argued, he put my shirt back on and took me back to his house where I slept in his bed alone. The next morning we talked about everything while I was suffering from the world's worst ever hang over. When I got to the me being unsure and confused about myself part he stopped me. I didn't know for sure what I was feeling but Noel assured me that when I had a better grasp on it, he wouldn't think any differently about me. "

Aria and Hanna had migrated to the bed while listening to Spencer, glancing from one another then to Noel. Aria had known Noel had a much softer sweeter side to him so a lot of what was being said didn't come as a shock but now she had to figure out how to deal with the fact that her best friend lost her virginity to a guy she had dated pre and post Ezra. She did like him and hearing about how he was the one to take care of her best friend.. only endeared him to her even more. Noel spoke after a few minutes of silence breaking everyone out if their thoughts and startling Aria a bit when he directed his words at her.

"I have to get going.. but Spence, if you need anything just call. Okay?" Noel gave the girl beside him a quick hug and stood. "Aria, can you walk me out? "

Aria nodded, stood and led the way down the stairs. Hanna watched her friend leave then snapped her neck towards Spencer. Weirdness factor levels were off the charts and Hanna had so many questions she didn't even know what to do first. Eventually she started with moving closer to her saddened friend and took her hand.

"Spence.. I want to be so mad at you right now..but I'm not. That really was a lot to take it but after hearing you both out I'm more mad at Em. "

"Han, don't be mad or upset with her. Honestly, I've been sitting here thinking about how I'd feel if it was reversed. I think I would have been hurt and confused to say the least. Noel and I, we just didn't fit together once we left the lake and it was mutual. All of it. His brother and Melissa, they treated us pretty much the same so we just found a common ground for a short period of time. But now.. I'm almost certain he has feelings for Aria. And with the Ezra thing, he is just worried about being a rebound. "

Aria stepped back into the room feeling confused and happy mixed together. Her breakup with Ezra had left her unsure of so many things but seeing the sweeter, caring side of Noel left her wanting to see more of him.

"So Noel asked me out for dinner next Friday. Uhm.. he also said he would understand if I said no after hearing about.. well.. you know.."

Both Hanna and Spencer spoke at the same time causing Aria to laugh but she still felt a bit unsure.

"Say yes! "

"Ar, we think it would at least be worth it to hear whatever else he might have to say. Right Spence? "

"Hanna is right. I guess I understand it if you think it's a little weird or whatever but it does kind of show that he likes you. And you have dated him twice so you must like him a little, right? "

"I told him I'd call and have an answer later. So this isn't like the beginnings of a Jerry Springer show? "

"I think we are way passed Jerry Springer. At this point we should have our own.."

Hanna jumped to her knees and slapped her hand over Spencer's mouth. One freak secretly recording them was all they could handle.

"Don't you even say it Spencer Hastings!"

"Okay guys I have to go pick up Mike. Spence, call If you need anything. Han, I'll see you in the morning. "

Aria gave her friends a quick hug then was down the stairs and out the door. She had some thinking to do and probably a date to accept.

"So.. she was with Paige? "

"You caught that huh? "

"Yeah but I don't even know if I blame her right now."

"I tried to talk to her about it about. She seemed pretty upset. I knew the one of us was shocking at the least and then she showed me the other two. Yeah I get it. Upset and shocked. But now she is being a jerk. "

A few tears slid down the slender girls cheek as she rested her head back on her knees. She wanted to scream and throw things and force the object of her affections to hear her out but she also knew how Emily was. She needed a day or two, hopefully, to process before Spencer could even begin to explain.

"She's hurt Han. A knew what to use to get to her. Scared too. You know.. Maya pulled the bi thing on her and we saw how hard she took it. Those videos did not do well in assuring Em that I wouldn't end up doing the same thing. "

"I still think she is acting very jerkish."

"If anyone is a jerk it's me. How many times has A used something like this against us? I'm more mad at myself right now.. it took me so long to accept that I had more than best friend feelings for her. I'm a Hastings and if you're a Hastings you have to be perfect. "

"Spence, you being gay doesn't change that but also.. being gay and a Hastings isn't all that you are. Your choice in guys is questionable but that doesn't look like it'll be an issue anymore. "

"Ha! Very funny. Somewhat true though. So I'm going to tell my parents tonight. Melissa said she would be there to support me which is strange in and of itself. I should get going. Thanks for hearing me out and not judging me. "

"What are best friends for? Call me later? Oh and Spence? Your parents are going to love and support you know matter what. "

After a tight hug the girls both moved off the bed. Hanna watched her friend take another deep breath then disappear down her steps and out of the house. It was nearing 2pm and all Hanna wanted to do was sleep until her alarm went off the next morning. That wasn't happening though. She still had to go see Caleb. How she was going to explain why she didn't tell him about the new round of A texts she wasn't quite sure of. Possibly a few well timed kisses would stall him...but probably not.

* * *

**How will Emily deal with it all? How will Spencer get Emily to talk to her? Thoughts on Noel? **

** Reviews please! **

**Xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: First I want to say thank you to those of you who left a review. When I started writing this I wasn't really sure if there would be any interest but now I'm 10 chapters in. I hope you all stick with me as the story continues. **

**Second, I want to thank my followers. I hope you are all enjoying this journey with me. I would be posting a new chapter every day if I could write them that fast. **

**Lyrics will be in** **_italics _and texts will be between *these* from now on. **

**Enjoy! Xoxo**

* * *

"Melissa.. thank you. "

"For what? "

"Today. Coming home. Supporting me. Sometimes it feels like you really hate me. "

"Spence, we have our differences but I have never hated you. I'm so sorry you ever felt that way. I guess the whole sibling rivalry thing gets pretty intense between us, huh? "

"Intense is one way of putting it. " Spencer let out a half-hearted laugh as she stared at the steering wheel.

"Look at me sis. " Melissa put a finger under her sisters chin, lifting her head up and to the right. "I am so proud of you Spence. You've gone from my bratty kid sister to this insanely smart, strong willed and confident young woman. And very beautiful. It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight. You are my sister and I support you no matter what. Okay? "

At first Spencer wasn't sure she was hearing correctly. Was her older sister really complimenting her? "I don't.. wow. I really needed to hear that. What if I.. you know.. disappoint mom and dad? "

"We all feel that way at times but..being gay will never be a reason for that. Now if you're ready, let's go inside before mom thinks we are out here tearing each other's hair out. And when dad gets back next weekend I'll be here again with you. "

"Can you blame her? I'll meet you in there in a few. I just need a moment to.. breathe. "

Melissa nodded, got out of the SUV and made her way into the house. Their dad had been called out of town on a case and wasn't expected back until that Friday at the earliest. Spencer was nearly positive her mother would also be very supportive but there was still a hint of fear and doubt. She took a deep breath, got out of the SUV, made her way to the door and just stood there with her hand hovering above the knob. One more deep breath and she was in the house about to expose her own secret.

"Spence hunny, come join your sister and me. I was just about to make some coffee. The club serves some fantastic food but their coffee is just deplorable. "

"Yeah.. sure. "

"Have a seat sweetie. I'm sorry your dad couldn't make it tonight. When he gets back we should all head to Philly for dinner at that new French restaurant. What do you think? "

"Sure mom."

Spencer looked to her sister hoping to gain the last little bit of courage she so greatly needed. A smile and a nod came her way and it was now or never. With both hands gripping the island, Spencer sucked in yet another deep breath and began to speak at the same time as her mother.

"Mom.."

"Spencer are you feeling okay? You look a little pale. "

"I'm fine mom. "

"Are you sure? I know the district championships are coming up.."

"Mom! "

"Mom, I'm pretty sure she is fine. But I do think Spence has to tell you something."

"Okay. Spencer? "

"I don't know how to say this.. so.. "

Veronica look back and forth between her daughters, her fears growing by the second. "Oh please don't tell me your pregnant."

"What?! No! I'm not.. uh.. " Another deep breath. "I don't like.. we'll I used to.. but not.. "  
More deep breaths. "I'm GAY! "

Veronica watched her daughter jump up from her seat at the island, spin around and bolt for the stairs. "Spencer! Do not even think about taking one step further. "

The tears poured down the girls face as she stood with her back to both her mother and sister. "I'm so sorry mom. I'm just a huge disappointment. I tried so hard to ignore it, to make it go away but I can't..."

The older Hastings was standing behind her daughter, her sister now stood a few paces off to the right. "Spencer please turn around."

Spencer slowly turned to face her mother, her eyes closed but the tears still flowing like a river. She finally opened them to see her mother holding her arms open wide, a gentle smile spread across her face. So many of her fears melted away in that moment as her mother closed the distance between them and hugged the girl tightly.

"Sweetheart calm down and listen to me. You have never been a disappointment. Come and sit with me?"

"You're not mad at me or ashamed or think I'm disgusting? "

All three Hastings women sat, Spencer feeling relieved to have finally admitted her secret, Melissa feeling happy to be there showing her support, Veronica feeling slightly confused as to why Spencer would ever think this was something to be ashamed of.

"You are not disgusting. You put that out of your head right now. Mad or ashamed? What would lead you to think that? "

"Because we are Hastings and being..gay.. doesn't exactly fit.."

"Oh hunny, gay or straight, none of that matters. I couldn't be more proud of you. This is just one small aspect of who you are and I love you no matter what. We all do. I just want you to be happy and if this is what makes you happy I fully support that. "

"Really? You're proud of me? Is dad going to be upset? "

"I am absolutely proud of you. You bring home straight A's, belong to countless clubs at school, you're the captain of the field hockey team and you volunteer every chance you get. Your father is just as proud of you as I am."

The Hastings women continued to talk, each telling a few stories they'd never shared before. An hour had passed and Spencer shed a few more tears, laughed a lot and discovered her own mother had a best friend in college that was gay. She knew she had a few more steps to take before she was completely comfortable in accepting her own sexuality and most of that would come after she told her dad. That would have to wait a few more days.

"Thank you mom and you too Melissa. I was so scared to even admit any of this to myself for so long but now I couldn't imagine going back to feeling that way. I really needed your support and acceptance..so thank you. "

"Sweetie you will always have my support. Okay? I know I get so busy with work sometimes but you can talk to me anytime about anything. I love you Spence. "

"What are sisters for? I'll be back next weekend and I'll be here when you talk to dad and I love you too Spencer. "

"I'm gonna go for a drive and clear my head a little more. I won't be out too late, I have a little reading to do for Lit. I love you both."

* * *

*Told my mom. It went really well. *

Spence sat in her driveway waiting for a reply from Hanna and fiddled with her radio trying to find something half way decent to listen to. * See I told u! *  
* I know. See you tomorrow. *  
*Okay.*

Spencer backed out of the driveway and headed to her favorite thinking place, Robbins park. Sitting on top of that gazebo had quickly become her place of quiet and calm, she could sort her thoughts why staring up at the star filled sky. Over the past six months she had found herself driving there on autopilot. She pulled to the curb on the side street, put the SUV in park and was just about to turn off the engine when the beginning note of a song started to play. The brunette didn't know why but it caught her attention.

_-Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know _

_It's not pretty there and few have ever gone_

_ If I show it to you now Will it make you run away?_

_Or will you stay _

_Even if it hurts_

_ Even if I try to push you out_

_ Will you return?_

_And remind me who I really am _

_Please remind me who I really am-_

Spencer leaned her head back against the headrest, closed her eyes and let the song take over her senses. A few tears slipped from her eyes making their way down her cheeks. Visions of a happy and smiling Emily flashed through her mind.

_-Everybody's got a dark side_

_ Do you love me?_

_Can you love mine?_

_Nobody's a picture perfect _

_But we're worth it _

_You know that we're worth it _

_Will __you love me?_

_Even with my dark side?_

_Like a diamond From black dust_

_ It's hard to know What can become If you give up_

_ So don't give up on me _

_Please remind me who I really am-_

Spencer started to get the feeling that she was being watched. She opened her eyes, scanned her surrounding finding no one in sight and turned the engine off. She got out and headed across the field to the gazebo. She looked back over her should and saw a car parked just beyond the visibility of the street lamps. Spencer hadn't been entirely sure if the car had been there when she pulled up but she shoved any crazy thoughts out of her mind as she walked the last 20 feet. She was about half way up the wooden structure when the very loud sound of an air horn went off causing the athletic girl to lose her footing and slip down a little bit. The horn stopped at the same second she felt someone grab her ankle and tug. She felt her foot connect with the person's face and heard a soft somewhat feminine grunt. From across the field someone yelled and began running towards her but in the few seconds she looked away she had almost missed seeing a now fleeing black hooded figure as it ran into the woods.

"Spencer! Are you okay? Who the fuck was that? "

"Noel?" Spencer scrambled up to her feet and was now standing, staring down at Noel.

"What the hell just happened?" Noel climbed up and pulled his friend in to a tight hug. From the outside looking in it would have appeared to be a very intimate moment but to them it was just who they were to each other, even if their friends didn't get it. There was nothing sexual about it. "I saw you hit the side pretty hard, are you hurt? "

"I scraped my stomach a little but I'm fine. I got in a kick to the head of whoever that was so I'm sure they are hurting more than me. "

Spencer stepped out of the hug, turned around and sat with her legs hanging over the side with Noel following suit.

"So.. thanks, you know.. for-"

"Don't mention it. I was actually hoping you'd be here. I kinda wanted to talk to you about.. Aria.."

"Did she give you an answer about Friday? "

"Not exactly. She sent a text saying she'd talk to me in school tomorrow. That pretty much feels like a no. "

"Noel, it's probably a little weird for her. The whole situation is weird. You two have dated twice now and our history never came up. I think if I was her I'd be a bit.."

"Ugh.. I guess. Talk to her for me? Tell her there is nothing between us. I mean, I'm okay with her needing some time to think."

"I did after you left earlier but she has to make up her own mind. I think she'll say yes though. "

"So… I uh.. saw Emily at The Brew tonight. With Paige. What happened Spence? "

"Oh you know.. I finally admitted to myself, then her, that I have feelings for her. She told me she feels she same way.. she kissed me.. I kissed her back.. and then this morning A decided to enlighten Emily to the fact that I'm a drunken party whore. She left before I woke up and hasn't spoken to me. And.. she is obviously back with Paige. On the bright side, I came out to my mom which went really well but following that, someone tried to maim me. Its been a stellar day. "

"I knew when you finally accepted it your mother would be okay with it all. So Emily, huh? Paige was all over her but I gotta say Spence, she didn't seem too into her. I've seen the way she looks at you. What are you gonna do? "

Both teens got to their feet with Noel making the climb off the roof first. Once his feet hit the ground the sounds of something or someone running across the field caught their attention. In her haste to get down and run after the hooded person Spencer slipped again, slamming her left side against the edge again.

"Fuck!" Spencer groaned and dropped the final few feet to the ground. "Let them go. They are closer to that car than you are to them. Shit that's going to leave a mark."

"Damnit! Lift up your shirt. Let me see, I heard you hit. "

"I'm fine. " She lifted the left side of her shirt to right above her ribs. Two scratches about three inches long ran down the left side of her stomach below her ribs. There was some smeared blood but the scratches didn't appear to be too deep. "See, just a few small scrapes. "

"You do know if I find whoever the hell that was, my lacrosse stick becomes dual purposed. Right? "

"As long as you let me get in a few whacks with my field hockey stick. "

"Deal. Now come on. I'm walking you to your car. "

As they approached her SUV Spencer stopped and looked at Noel. "We aren't jerks to each other anymore. "

"Uhm..okay? "

"At school and around our friends. If we can be friends here we should be like this everywhere. In front of Aria whether or not things work out and in front of Emily. Because this.. there is nothing to hide. We should have been truthful a hell of a lot sooner. "

"I agree. You're right, we should have. If Aria does give me a chance I do want to tell her everything. There is something about her.. "

"Just so you know. I will break your face if you hurt her. "

Noel laughed lightly but he knew without any doubt that Spencer would, in fact, break his face. "Again, deal. I'll see you tomorrow." He stepped back and watched as Spencer climbed into her SUV and drove off.

* * *

The next morning Spencer was standing at her locker a little earlier than usual. She'd gotten maybe four hours of sleep and after waking up at 5AM with her side in some serious pain she decided to just stay up and get ready for school. The scratches hadn't been bad at all but there was definitely a nasty bruise to go along with very sore ribs.

"Good morning Spence! " Hanna laughed seeing her friend jump and drop the book she had been reading but stopped the second a wince and flash of pain wash over Spencer's face. "Spencer what's wrong? Why do you look like you were just stabbed in the side? "

"Nothing. I'm fine. You just startled me. You're here early. " Spencer turned away from Hanna before slowly bending down to pick up her book, a shock of pain causing her to grab hold of her side while biting her own lip.

From the left side of the hallway Emily and Paige walked together, hand in hand , to Emily's locker which was about ten down from Spencer's. When Spencer turned to the left she instantly locked eyes with Paige and she was definitely wearing a smirk.

From the right side Aria walked up hand in hand Noel. The tension between the six of them could have been cut with a knife with most of it being directed at Emily and Paige. Emily finished getting her books from her locker, looked to Aria, quickly scanned over Spencer and settled her sights on Hanna.

"I'll see you guys at lunch. "

"Are you for real right now Em? Remember the whole stay the hell away from me conversation yesterday? Lets stick with that!" Hanna grabbed Aria, tugging both her and Noel down the hallway.

Spencer turned her attention back to her own locker, pulling out two more books and shoving them in her bag. She wasn't sure what part of her was hurting more at the moment. Bruised ribs or breaking heart. She knew her ribs would heal but her heart..

The slender brunette moved to the left until she was shoulder to shoulder with Emily. She sucked in a deep painful breath ignoring the thumping pain from her side, closed her eyes and spoke. Her voice barely above a whisper. "I just want you to be..happy. It's all I'll ever want. "

Emily watched as the girl she loved move through the crowded hall, disappearing around a corner. "Come on Em. " Paige tugged on Emily's arm a bit, then leaned in pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "I still have to stop at my locker before first period."

* * *

**Who attacked Spencer? Is Aria really okay with Noel and Spencer's past? Will Emily's fears keep her from being with the girl she loves?**

**Song: Kelly Clarkson-Dark Side**

**Reviews please! Good or bad. **

**Xoxo- FindingSide **


	11. Chapter 11

AN: **Just a quick note to say thank you to those of you who left a review. Also thank you to the new followers. I can't thank you all enough! I really hope you all like this chapter!**

**Enjoy! **

**Xoxo**

* * *

Emily stood next to the table both Hanna and Aria were sitting at while eating lunch. She knew Hanna was anything but happy with her and had guessed Aria wasn't too thrilled either. "Guys can I sit? "

Hanna looked across the quad to where Paige was sitting and pointed in her direction. "Sure Emily. Your girlfriend is looking a little lonely, why don't you go sit over-"

Aria kicked Hanna in the shin before gesturing for Emily to sit. "Hanna! Shut up."

"Ow! Fine. Whatever.."

Emily sat next to Aria, she looked back at Paige briefly then brought her eyes back to Aria with a soft sigh. "Look, I'm sorry for blowing you off yesterday. When I saw.. those-"

Emily's words were cut off at the sound of Spencer and Noel arguing as they moved out into the quad.

"I told you! I'm fine! Now drop it." Spencer held her hand to her side and gritted her teeth.

Hanna and Emily jerked their heads up, slightly startled after hearing the pairs raised voices. Aria was on her feet and beside her boyfriend and best friend three seconds later. "You're fine?! Okay then. Show me your ribs right now!" Noel grabbed hold on the hem of Spencer's shirt intending to lift it just high enough to see if he had been right. "I heard you hit the side of the fuc-"

"Noel! Let go of her shirt and lower your voices. What the hell is going on? Spencer? What is he talking about? You know I am really getting sick of asking what is going on. Someone better tell me before I have to ask again."

"Noel!" Spencer spoke through clenched teeth. "This conversation is over. Drop it. "

Hanna looked behind her to see Paige walking as fast as she could, without actually running, back into the school hallway. "Your girlfriend just scampered back inside, you should probably go chase after her.. oh and you might want to tell her make-up is not her thing. Nobody wears that much concealer."

Emily watched Spencer as she struggled to take in a breath, everything inside of her wanted to go to her.. best friend? girl she loved? and make sure she was okay but she just couldn't actually do it. She asked Hanna to call or text her and let her know if Spencer was okay then stood and went in search of Paige.

"Hanna.." Aria called out. "Can you gather my things and bring them to room 205?" She didn't even wait for a reply before she had grabbed hold of both Spencer and Noels wrist, dragging them both down the hall while they continued to bicker.

Hanna came running into the room slamming the door behind her just as Spencer had lifted her shirt, reveling two scratches and a nasty looking bruise that ran from just under her bra to right below her ribs. "Oh my god! When did this happen? Did someone do this to you?"

"Han, what did you say to Emily? "

"You're standing there showing us a bruise the size of my damn head and all you can think about is her?! I'm sorry.. how are you pussy whipped before even getting the pu-"

"HANNA! Do you have a filter? Like at ALL? " Aria said. "What. The hell. Happened?!"

Noel leaned against the wall trying his best not to laugh, the situation was by no means funny but he was starting to think Hanna had hit the nail on the head.

"Alright! Fine, I'll tell you. I went out to Robbins park last night, after telling my mom about.. you know.. me.. So I was half way up on top of the gazebo when an air horn went off and someone grabbed my leg and pulled. I landed hard on my side, that's where the scratches came from. I got in a kick to their head and I'm pretty sure it was a she. The grunt sounded really feminine and there wasn't a lot of strength.. when she/he yanked..."

Spencer continued telling her two best friends the rest of what had happened as Hanna started to zone out. Hanna kept wondering why today, of all days, Paige would decided to start wearing make-up. There was no way this was a coincidence. Nothing was a coincidence when it came to their lives, as of late. Hanna snapped out of her haze as Noel was lecturing Spencer about icing her ribs and wrapping them up so they would heal enough so she could play in her district championship game that Friday.

* * *

Noel held out the extra wide ace bandage for Spencer, refusing to take no for an answer. When she didn't take it he turned to Aria hoping she would be able to convince her friend.

"Spence, he's right. You know it can't hurt to just try it. It took you like five minutes to get changed, how are you going to practice? "

"Come on, Spencer. I've had bruised ribs a few times.. running up and down that field and swinging your hockey stick.. it's gonna hurt. The wrap is going to restrict your range of motion a little but it'll seriously help you more than hinder. You want that win on Friday, don't you? "

"Yeah, of course I do. We were robbed last year."

"Okay. So put this on. I have a lidocaine spray at home that you can use too. Being stubborn isn't going to heal your side."

"Ugh such a jerk." Spencer took the bandage with a huff. "Ar, can you come back into the locker room and help me? "

"Okay I'll be there in a minute." Aria took Noels hand, walking him out of the training room. "I'm going to stay for her practice just in case she can't drive home afterwards. Would you maybe, want to meet at The Brew later? Like, around 7?"

"Yeah I'd like that. Hey Ar…? I'm really glad you said yes. "

"Me too. " The shorter girl rose up on her toes and gave her boyfriend a quick soft kiss on the lips. "I'll call If anything changes. "

* * *

*How is Spence? *  
*Her practice just finished. She's definitely hurting.*  
*I talked to Em. Something isn't adding up* *I'm meeting Noel at the brew at 7, meet me there 6:30?*  
*okay*

Aria walked into Spencer's bedroom dropping her backpack plus two more books on the chaise next to her bed. Spencer followed behind, walking deeper into her room and over to the entrance to her bathroom.

"Can you wait like 5 minutes while I take a quick shower? It's easier if you wrap me up."

"Yeah. Of course. "

"Can you also go downstairs and grab an ice pack from the freezer?"

"Sure. "

About 10 minutes later Spencer walked out of the bathroom wearing a pair of tight black sleep shorts that left her long and toned legs on full display. She held her matching tank top in one hand, the other hand holding onto her towel that was wrapped around her upper body.

"I'm sorry. I hope this isn't too awkward. I want to ice my ribs before I put my.."

"It's fine Spence. Just turn around and put your arm over your chest. "

Spencer stood with her back to Aria, her arm covering up her breasts after removing the towel. The shorter brunette wrapped the ace bandage around her friend pulling it tight but not enough to hurt.

"Hand me your shirt and bend down a little. I'll help you get it over your head. It'll be easier to do it now. "

"I feel like a frikkin cripple." Spencer said as she did as she was told. "Thank you."

"So.. about Noel.."

"Ar, he really likes you. " Spencer laid on her bed, placing the ice pack on her side as she spoke. "He has for a long time but with Ezra.. look we are just friends okay? "

"Yeah I know… so it's not like weird? "

"Any weirder than me having feelings for my best friend who's a girl? What happened in February was a huge mistake. Finding out about Toby and adding my own denial about myself to the mix.. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was that night but I was also running from myself too."

"I can see how much he cares about you, Spence. Honestly, it was one of the reasons I did say yes. I know he does have that sweet side to him and I want to give it a chance."

"Besides, I told him I'd break his face if he hurt you. I will. Team Sparia. "

Aria chuckled at the mention of Sparia. "Okay I have to go but you'll call if you need anything? "

"Yes yes. Oh and don't forgot to pick me up in the morning."

"For? Oh! Right. I drove you home. Alright. See you in the morning. I'll text you when I'm on my way." Aria said as she made her way out of Spencer's bedroom.

* * *

Noel stood at the counter staring at Emily, waiting for her to finish making his coffee. He was feeling slightly annoyed, he knew someone needed to get through to Emily but also wasn't sure it should be him.

Hanna walked in to the coffee shop just as Noel had walked back to the couch he had been sitting on as he waited for his girlfriend. "Hey Em, can I get my usual?"

"Sure. " Emily handed over Hanna's drink a few minutes later. "I.. uh.. look I'm sorry for what I said. I was way out of line and.. wait, Why do you have your makeup bag here? "

"You really should talk to Spencer. "

"Hanna…"

"Okay whatever. Is Paige here? "

"Uhm yeah..why? She just went to bathroom but why are you.. wait you're not gonna try and give her a makeover are you? "

"I'm just going to give her a few suggestions. Really Em, her face and neck should be the same color so I'm going to help her out with that. "

Hanna headed off in the direction of the bathroom, her coffee an afterthought. The blonde pushed open the door stepping in quietly just as the sound of a toilet flushing sounded. She sat her bag on the counter by the sink and waited. Paige opened the stall door and she froze in place.

"Hanna... I didn't hear you come in. " Paiges eyes scanned the small bathroom taking in the bag that sat on the counter and the small bottle of makeup remover that sat right next to it. Hanna poured a small amount of the liquid onto a paper towel then held it out for Paige.

"What's that for? "

"It's to remove your makeup so I can show you the proper way to apply it." Hanna leaned against the counter still holding the towel out in front her.

"Oh.. I don't normally wear it. I.. it's.. I had a breakout.. acne.. "

"Oh in that case I also have some amazing-"

"Really Hanna uhm thanks but I really should be getting back out.."

"Either you do it or I do it." Hanna dropped the smile, her eyes narrowing as she took a step towards the girl. "Or I can have Emily come in and do it. Unless you want the worst case scenario. "

"Wor..worst case scenario? "

"I'm sure Spencer would be very interested in the shit job you did in covering up the left side of your face. "

Paige swallowed audibly taking the towel. She wiped her face revealing purplish bruising around her left eye and cheek. "Please.. please don't tell.."

"Today is your lucky day. I'm not going to tell Emily. And because of how well I know Spencer's temper, I'm not telling her either. Don't be surprised when she does figure it out though. I mean, I'm sure you'd recover in time for your senior swim season."

Paige let out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding in. "Thank-"

"Don't thank me yet. Break up with Emily. At least you might still be able to keep her as a friend. Not that you deserve it. You took advantage of the situation! And you know damn well she doesn't love you. "

"She came to me! I walked away from her the other night because I was tired of coming in second place to Spencer fucking Hastings! "

Hanna dug around in her bag, pulled out a small bottle of concealer and tossed it at Paige. "I'd put that on before you leave the bathroom. "

Hanna walked out of the bathroom without a second glance back. Aria was pacing in the hall that separated the common area and restrooms of the coffee shop. "What were you doing in there? Drawing her a new face? "

"What? No, I'll tell you later. Why didn't you just come in? "

"Noel is telling Emily everything. "

"Everything? What do you mean everything and why aren't you over there?"

"I walked in and she asked why I was back with him. He overheard her and lost it. "

"Shouldn't Spencer be the one to tell her? "

"I don't know but he pulled her aside and he's been talking to her for the past ten minutes. So far she is just sitting there listening which is more than she's done with us. "

Neither Hanna or Aria had noticed Emily until she was racing by them. "Is Paige still in the bathroom? "

"Shit! Em wait don't- " Before Hanna could get out another word Emily had swung the door open and was in the two stall coffee shop bathroom.

"Paige, I'm sorry... You were right the other night.." Emily had started to say before she noticed Paige sitting against the far wall, her back flush against it. Emily moved further into the small room and knelt down, her eyes going immediately to the bruise. "What.. what happened? I thought you..?"

Hanna and Aria rushed in as Emily went to stand, grabbing up the small bottle of concealer. Emily's eyes darted from the bottle in her hand to Hanna then down at Paige. "Tell me that's not what I think it is Paige.. tell me it's a complete coincidence that the LEFT side of your face isn't.."

Paige scrambled to her feet, taking a small step towards the raven haired girl. "Please Em, I can explain.."

Emily backed up a step, her heart rate spiking. She stared at the girl she once cared so deeply for but now felt sick just looking at her. Her words came out low but not in a whisper.

"You can explained? Five minutes ago I find out 'someone' attacked Spencer but she managed to get in a kick to their face. Is that what you want to explain? "

"I.. I just freaked out okay! "

"About WHAT? "

"I don't know! I'm sorry! I'm so sick and tired of always coming in second place to Spencer fucking Hastings! "

"I trusted you. I came to you and I trusted you yesterday! I can't believe I slept- "

"That's right Em. " Paige narrowed her eyes as she spit her words out. "I fucked you last night. Imagine how she's going feel about that. Barely 24 hours after you and her- "

"Fuck you Paige! " Emily ground out as she spun on her heels and stormed out of the bathroom, Hanna and Aria following closely behind but stone silent. By the time Emily made it back to the couch Noel was leaning against, she was shaking.

"How? How! How do I explain this to Spencer? What do I say?! 'Uh I slept with my ex girlfriend, who I got back with for 5 minutes and then she went off the deep end like you said she would and then.. she tried to pull you off the roof.. all because I let A get inside my head!' "

Hanna wrapped her best friend up in a tight hug while Aria leaned into her boyfriend unsure of what to say or how to help. Noel spoke up first.

"I wouldn't tell her about what Paige did. "

"I kinda agree here, Em. " Aria added.

"More secrets? "

Hanna released her friend from the hug, sat down on the couch and sighed heavily. "I'll tell her. This way maybe I can beg her to stay calm and think of you first. Em.. she thinks you're going to compare her to Maya or worry that she'll want to date guys too.."

"I.. have to go talk to her." Emily was out the door and in her car, not caring if she was fired for leaving work without asking.

* * *

Emily stood quietly in the doorway of Spencer's bedroom, the slender brunette laid with her nearly bare legs hanging over the edge of her bed. A pillow covered her eyes, her hands extended out above her body as she played air piano along with the classical music that played softly. Emily's heart sped up from the sight of muscular yet very feminine legs that seemed to go on for days. She'd always had a thing for the way the hockey player maintained her body but now she definitely wanted to see it more up close and personal. That would have to wait though.

"Hey.." Spencer slid the pillow from her face, her head turning to the side. She had instantly known who's voice it was.

"Emily..." Spencer breathed out as she slowly sat up.

"Don't get up and please don't say anything." She nodded and waited for Emily to continue. "I'm sorry Spence. I'm sorry I let A get in my head and for leaving the way I did. It was so wrong of me.. I don't know why but it hurt to see you..like that. I know there is something here.. between us.. but I need some time, okay? I need to sort out my thoughts. So please, can you give me just a little bit of time? "

"Time. Okay. " Spencer nodded once. She knew without any single doubt that they were on the brink of something so potentially powerful, a little more time wouldn't change it.

"I'll.. see you tomorrow.." Emily backed out of the room, disappearing down the hall. Spencer smiled to herself, speaking to the empty doorway, she quoted one of her favorite shows. "Not if I see you first."

* * *

The next morning Spencer had found herself awake just before dawn, the pain in her side slightly worse than the previous night. More than likely as a result of pushing herself at practice. Something had been playing on her mind and since she was up she decided to set her small yet, hopefully, sweet gesture in to action. She sent Aria a quick text letting her know she didn't need a ride, rolled slowly out of bed and began to get ready for the day. Thirty minutes later Spencer stood in her bathroom checking to see if she could actually pull off her outfit for the day. It was a somewhat big departure, much more edgier, from her normal preppy attire but she was thinking it couldn't hurt to branch out a bit. She'd decided on a tight pair of dark wash jeans that sat lower on her hips than what she usually wore. A white very tight tank top that stopped right where the ace wrap ended and a black three button vest tight enough to accentuate her small but very present cleavage. She'd also decided to go with the mid-calf motorcycle boots she had purchased on a whim with Aria, but never wore. Her hair was pulled in a low ponytail so the black fedora hat she'd picked out, to complete the outfit, sat just perfectly on her head. Dark brown eyeliner was the only make-up she wore. Satisfied with how she looked, she took one more glance in the mirror before heading out for school.

* * *

Aria and Hanna made their way through the hall towards Emily's locker as they chatted about the night before. Spencer was usually there by that time but that morning she was nowhere in sight.

"When were you thinking would be a good time to tell Spence about.. you know, Paige? "

"Shit. I did say I'd do that didn't I? I was thinking maybe a couple of days after never..?"

"I just don't want her to find out when we aren't there. Nothing good ever comes from her losing her temper."

Emily had arrived at her locker and greeted her two friends as she spun her combination. She pulled the locker door open and two things immediately stood out as they sat atop her books. The first was a violet pink Aster, the second was a folded piece of paper that the flower had rested on. Emily knew instantly who had left them there from the way her name was written. Pulling out the flower first, she then took the note out, unfolded it and read..  
…

Emily,

Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere. The flower is an Aster and it symbolizes patience. That's what I am going to do. I will wait patiently until the day you are ready and, hopefully, I feel yours arms around me and yours lips pressed against mine again. I wish I had realized this sooner but I see it and feel it now. When you are ready I want the chance to try to be everything you have ever wanted and dreamed of because that's what you are to me. You are my dream come true.

Yours Always, Spencer

...

Emily held both the flower and letter to her chest, a million things racing through her mind. The one thing she knew for sure in that moment was that she didn't need any more time. In fact, one minute more was too long to keep Spencer waiting. "Have either of you seen Spencer yet this morning?"

"Uh.. no not yet. Why? " Aria looked up and down the hallway.

Emily had just put the flower and letter back into her locker when Hanna grabbed hold of her arm, the blue eyed girls jaw nearly hitting the ground in shock when she spotted her friend half way down the hall talking to Noel. Aria spotted Spencer next, her eyes going wide.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God! I..I think I'm a little gay.." All Aria could do was nod in agreement with Hanna.

"What?! What are you talking about.. " Emily finally saw what her friends were staring at and her knees almost gave out. "Oh.." She took off down the hall dodging and side stepping people left and right. She may have shoved one or two people out of her way as well. Seconds later she came to a stop a foot or so in front of the girl she loved.

"Em? " Was all Spencer got out.

"I don't need any more time." Emily closed the distance between them, crashing her lips against Spencers, her hands resting on either side of the girls face. She ran her tongue along the slender girls bottom lip and was immediately granted access, plunging her tongue deep into the other girls mouth, Emily dominating the kiss. When they finally broke apart Emily had wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck, in return Spencer slid her arms around Emily's waist. They just stood there staring into each others eyes. Neither girl caring about anything other than the fact that they both wanted this and they were both ready.

"So.. I guess this means you're ready and we're really doing this? "

"Yeah, I can't keep my dream girl waiting a second longer." Emily leaned in until her lips brushed against Spencer's right ear. "You should also know I'm going to struggle all day, trying to keep my hands off you. You looking incredibly hot."

"I was really hoping you would like it."

* * *

**Finally! I hope that wait was worth it. I was almost annoyed with myself for taking so long to get them back together. Its still not going to be an easy road. So.. Spencer's outfit.. yes or nah? I actually love her preppy clothes but a little more edge can't hurt. **

**Reviews please! Let me know what you think. Good or bad. **

**Xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Quick note to say thank you again to everyone following this. :)**

**Hope you all enjoy! **

**Xoxo**

* * *

A shiver raced up and down Spencer's spine when she felt Emily's hot breath against her ear. In the span of maybe two minutes Spencer had gone from nervous and anxious about how her letter would be received to relieved and way more turned on than she should be while standing in the middle of the hall in school. Both girls jumped and took a step away from each other when they heard someone clear their throat and start talking.

"Good morning girls."

"Oh..uh. good..good morning Mrs. Montgomery. " Spencer stammered out, her cheeks flushing light red.

"You two should get to class. The bell will be ringing any moment."

Emily reached down taking Spencer's hand, lacing their fingers together. "C'mon Spence, we have to get our books and then I can walk you to class."

The pair made their way back down the hall hand in hand, stopping at Spencer's locker first.

"So.. this is a new look for you Spence..I like it." Hanna smirked as her eyes moved from Spencer to Emily. "For a second I thought Em here was going to rip your clothes off and fuck you against the lockers. "

"Hanna! Seriously? Where is your filter?!" Aria nudged the blonde in the side but had been thinking the same thing. "What did my mom say to you? "

Spencer felt her cheeks flushing again just at the thought of doing anything more than kissing Emily. "Pretty much she said get to class." Spencer hadn't even realized she'd been outed until that very second. "Oh.."

Emily finished gathering her books, she made the few steps back to the group when she saw the panic wash over the slender girl. "Spence? "

"I wasn't even thinking.. about being, you know.. out…" Spencer leaned her head into her locker trying not to hyperventilate.

"Oh god Spence, I.. wasn't thinking..and you looked so.. and.. and the note.." Emily looked around at the people moving through the halls, to her best friends then leaned her head against the locker next to Spencer. "I shouldn't have-"

"Don't say that. " Spencer pulled her head out to look at Emily. "I really can't think of a better way to come tumbling out of the closet. "

"Are you two done? We really need to get to first period." Hanna spotted Paige walking towards the group, the bruises on her face on full display. "Spence! I need you to look something over for me, can we go? "

Emily caught sight of Paige just as Spencer went to look down the hall for Noel, in a moment of panic she pulled the brunette against her so she was facing the lockers and kissed her bracketing her arms around Spencer's shoulders keeping her in place.

"Why do I feel like bad porn music should be playing? You two seriously need to stop. The bell is about to ring. "

Hanna poked Emily's arm, when she finally caught her attention she mouthed that Paige had passed by and was gone.

Spencer sighed happily as she stepped out of the embrace, her mind in a complete fog, her body again stimulated in places it should not be while still standing in the hallway at school. "Uhm.. oookay "

Emily took Spencer's backpack slinging it over her shoulder, retrieved her own books from her locker then held out her hand.

"I can carry my own books Em." Without a second thought Spencer laced her fingers with the girl, the four best friends finally making their way to class.

* * *

"How much do you want to bet that they were hooking up the whole time? I mean they've always been all over each other anyway. Best friends don't act like that. Did you see that shiner Paige has too? "

"I wouldn't take that bet but it definitely gives a new meaning to slutty. One day she is all over Paige and the next she is practically fucking Miss GoodyGoody in the middle of the halls…"

Emily sent an S.O.S. to Hanna and Aria while she listened to two girls talking about her, Paige and Spencer as she tried to stay silent in the bathroom stall furthest from the door. When she heard the door open and the voices fade she left the stall to wait for her friends. The door swung open a minute later, both girls rushing in.

"Em, what's up? Where's Spencer? " Aria glanced around checking to see if the fourth girl was in a stall.

"I didn't text her. Hanna when are you going to tell her about Paige? "

"I was going to wait until after her game on Friday. Why?

"I think Paige told Tracey James about-"

"Don't even say it. I don't even want to think about that." Hanna shook her head.

"Okay Em, why is this an S.O.S?"

Emily paced back and forth in the small space while she told her friends what she had overheard. Aria leaned against the sink, Hanna just rubbed her temples.

"I know I said I'd tell her but I think it should come from you Em. Like everything. Including the part about you.. ya know.."

"Hanna has a point Em. After what Paige said last night and now you overhearing Tracey.. you probably should go find her before she goes to the cafeteria. "

Emily felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, taking her it out she saw a text from Spencer.

*Want to meet me in the library for lunch? xo*

"Was that her? What did she say? " Hanna asked.

"Yeah it was. She wants to meet in the library for lunch. How the hell do I even bring this up? I really don't want her hearing this from anyone else."

*okay, coming now*

*Have to make a quick pit stop. Be there in a few. xo*

"Alright. She says she has to make a quick pit stop." Emily sighed heavily. "I'm going to go wait. Also.. I might throw up on the way."

"Em, even if she does get mad at you she won't stay that way for long. She never really was able to stay away from you."

"Thanks Han. I hope so. " Emily gathered her books and was out the door.

* * *

"Mr. Hacket, you wanted to see me? " Spencer walked into the principals office where she saw Paige, and her bruised face, sitting in one of the chairs.

"Yes, please close the door and sit down Spencer."

As Spencer went to sit she felt a shooting pain in her side causing her to bite her own lip. Once sitting she caught a slight smirk playing on the other girls lips.

"Okay now that I have you both here, I've had a situation brought to my attention this morning. As you both know there is a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence."

"Excuse me Mr. Hacket, but I really don't understand why I'm here."

"Spencer, this morning I received an anonymous tip stating you are responsible for Paiges black eye and while she has denied any wrong doing on your part-"

"I did what?! I didn't touch her! "

"Spencer, if you will allow me to continue. I have already discussed this with Paige and she has assured me that you had no involvement. Whether it is true or false I felt it necessary to have you here so I can remind you both that I will not tolerate fighting on my campus. Is that understood? "

Both girls nodded.

"Great. You can both go."

Paige was up and out the door with Spencer fast on her heels. The pair continued walking until they were out of earshot of anyone, Spencer stepped in front of Paige facing her, the smirk back in place.

"What the hell are you smirking at? Why am I being called down to the office-"

"Save it Spencer. A little worried your perfect reputation might be tarnished? "

"Look, Paige.. I'm sorry about everything with you and Emily.."

"You? Sorry? Keep your bullshit apologies! "

"I know she didn't plan to hurt you- "

"But she did. You both deserve each other. Who is she going to run to now? You know, when you are off being passed around like a cheap party favor? Hmm? Is sweet innocent Emily going climb in bed with Hanna next? Or maybe Aria? I can tell you who it won't be again. Me."

Spencer stood there with her eyes closed as she tried to steady her breathing. She wasn't sure but it sounded like Paige had implied she'd slept with Emily.. No. Spencer could not believe Emily would do that no matter how mad or upset she had been. When she opened her eyes Paige had already walked away.

* * *

Spencer slowly made her way through the library to the back row of tables where she usually sat. She rounded the corner then slowed down even more when she spotted the Emily pacing. Again she replayed the brief conversation with Paige over in her head and as much as she didn't want to believe it, she had to ask.

"Spence.."

"I can't even believe I'm about to ask you this.." Spencer sat, her hands laying limply in her lap, eyes closed tight. "About Paige. Is it true? "

Emily sat sideways on the chair next to the brunette reaching out to hold her hand only to have it pulled away. "Yes. After Hanna figured it out I- "

"Hanna? Hanna knows? "

"She cornered her in the bathroom at The Brew and apparently got Paige to admitt it and when she said she'd be the one to tell you I agreed. Yeah I know it wasn't- "

"I'm really not understanding why the hell you would think I'd be the slightest bit okay with hearing this from.. Hanna? Of all people? Don't you think it should have come from you? Instead of having to hear it from Paige?!"

"Paige? She actually told you she was the one at the park Monday night? "

"WHAT? " Spencer jumped up sending the chair she had been sitting on crashing backward to the floor. That now familiar pain in her side causing her to suck in a breath. "Did I just hear you correctly? She did this to me?! I had to sit in Mr. Hackets office because someone 'anonymously' accused me of being the one to give your ex girlfriend a black eye, then I have to listen to her call me a fucking whore and then.. oh it gets better.. then she all but describes how you slept with her the same night that 'someone' or should I say 'she' tried to pull me off that roof? So basically Paige goes off the deep end and now I- "

"Wait.. anonymously? Was it A? "

"Who knows. At this point I wouldn't be shocked if she did it herself."

Emily stood up and moved close to Spencer cupping her cheek with one hand. "I made a horrible mistake when I.. with her.. Inexcusable and probably unforgivable. But.. I am asking and hoping that you can find a way to forgive me."

Spencer leaned into the hand on her face relaxing slightly. Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, she looked deep in to those dark chocolate captivating eyes and the world around them faded away. "It shouldn't be this hard this soon Em. "

"I know, but I have wanted you and this for so so long. I want us to get through this, together. No more secrets. No more lies. Do you think it's worth it to try? "

Spencer sighed softly leaning her forehead against Emily's. Wrapping her arms around the girls waist, she let herself relax into the embrace when Emily slid both arms around her neck. She brushed her lips against Emily's before pulling back enough so they could be eye to eye again. "It's you, Emily. I meant what I wrote in that letter. I don't want to just try. We.. we are doing this. No more holding things back. We tell each other everything even if it might hurt. I want this too and I'll do whatever it takes.. but only if we are both doing it. "

"Together. " Emily pressed her lips against Spencer's with the intentions of only having it be a quick kiss to seal the deal. Forgetting again that they were standing in a place where anyone and everyone could see, she ran her tongue along Spencer's bottom lip, gaining immediate entrance. The kiss turned heated as Emily walked them, without breaking the liplock, down the last isle of bookshelves until Spencer's back was flush against the wall.

In between kisses and nips to Emily's bottom lip, jaw, neck and collarbone, Spencer tried to rationalize the need to stop because they were in public but also make herself care. And was that a hand in her back pocket squeezing her ass? A few more minutes of kissing and groping at each other and grinding against each other, someone cleared their throat loudly. They both sprung apart blushing and breathing heavily.

"Is this seriously all you two are going to do now?!" Hanna laughed watching her friends fixing their hair and smoothing out their disheveled clothing. "I might start carrying around a cup of ice water to cool you both off. I know Spence is a great kisser Em but-"

"Jesus frikkin Christ Hanna!" Spencer looked nervously from Hanna to Emily. "Em.. I.. she just.."

"Right, about that.. so why exactly where you two..?"

"Someone needed to yank Spencer out of the closet. You're welcome by the way Emily. And hello.. look at the clothes she was hiding in there. You definitely know how to wear plaid but this..? Way hot!"

"Thanks but so not helping right now Hanna." Spencer groaned unsure of what Emily would say. To Spencers shock and surprise, Emily bursted out laughing.

"What? She's right. I've always loved your plaid but this.. and those boots? I could get used to this." Emily nuzzled Spencer's neck, kissing her way up to her ear.

"Again I need ice water! Get a room or go find an empty janitors closet. I don't even know who you two are right now. How did you both become horndogs overnight? " Hanna huffed as she turned and walked away.

"Ya know.." Emily said while running her pointer finger down Spencer's bare arm. "We could.. "

"Uhh no." Spencer cleared her lust filled foggy head. " As much as I want to keep kissing you all day I don't think doing that next to a bucket and mop is a turn on for me."

"Fine. I guess we should go before she really does come back here and douse us with water."

"But there is always later. After we talk about things, I wouldn't be opposed to making out with you."

"I hope so. I really could kiss you for hours." Emily leaned in for another kiss but was stopped before their lips made contact.

"Class Em. We need to get to class. "

* * *

**Reviews make my day! And also they let me know what it working for you. **

**Xoxo**

**FindingSide **


End file.
